Unleashing Your Authentic Presence: The Power of Personal Branding with Alba Gomez

[00:00:00] Alba: What really got me confused about women with the tall poppy syndrome in Australia and then scared of standing out and not wanting to be seen, no. Wanting to blow their own horn. And I’m thinking, what are they talking about? When I described that made me think, whereas in Colombia where like PE peacocks mm-hmm.

The bigger, the louder, the more colorful, the more feet are clothes, the bigger everything is. Like seriously is like, and it’s so interesting because it is. There is a little bit of vanity there, but then again, being vain in Colombia is a good thing. Mm. Because it is not being vain for being a egocentric and being better than anybody else.

It’s being vain in a way in which you like taking care of who you are. You put an effort, you are taking care of you, and you love yourself enough to take time to do your makeup. Mm-hmm. Put your clothes together in a way that you represent yourself with pride. Mm-hmm. And you stand tall and you go out.

For glory to share that with the world.

[00:01:11] Katherine: Welcome to another episode of Secrets in the City. I am your host. Who else would it be? I’m Dr. Kat, also known as Katherine Nisco. I’m so excited for today’s episode. You know why? Because we have a peacock on the show. You know what I’m talking about. So this, we’re gonna get into it, but let me tell you, this lady that I met, she was sparkling, she was colorful, and she just had what I call, which means this beautiful but elegant confidence.

Alba, it’s such a pleasure to have you on the show. Welcome. Oh,

[00:01:46] Alba: thank you. That is just so beautiful.

[00:01:49] Katherine: Thank you so much. I really want you to tell this story of the peacock and all that because I just, I think it’s. So beautiful because it creates such an image and I always think about you when I’m getting ready.

I’m like, how can I be like, feel like a peacock? But on this I’m gonna let you tell everyone what you do and all that. But I wanna read out a portion of your bio because it just sticks out to me. And I love fiercely. She is fiercely passionate about helping individuals feel more confident with. How they communicate who they are to maximize their leadership presence and amplify their personal brand, but they.

The word that stands out is fiercely. I love that word. So if you were to describe to a six year old what you do Yes. How would you, um,

[00:02:37] Alba: what would you say? I would say I help people, uh, really feeling comfortable and happy. To let the world know who they are, what they do, and how brilliant they are. How’d you get into it?

Uh, you got a long story. The short story with that was, um, I guess I am an engineer by trade and I was working as an engineer for many years. I, when I came to Australia, I got recognized as an engineer and I started working here as an engineer just to realize I had lost passion for it. Mm. And that led me to think, what would I do if I.

Was going to take the risk and do something different. So I went back into my own personal experiences growing up. I am a, I am a, a, I love people, I love communicating, and I’ve always been fascinated by how people, uh, can make the most out. The who, who they are, how they look, and how they communicate that to the world.

Mm-hmm. Because my own personal challenge has always been, Uh, not being confident, feeling inappropriate, not fitting in, being bullied. When I was a little girl and I started using my image and who I was to start coming out of my shell, and by transforming my own story, I learned so much along the way and became fascinated with different sciences and, and, and studies.

And one thing led to another. So when I went to make that decision, I thought, Let’s do something I know a lot about and let’s keep it starting. And that was the beginning with the image

[00:04:03] Katherine: I was saying. People judge each other, you know, whether, whether we admit it or not, we judge each other within the first couple seconds.

We have already made decisions in our brain whether we trust a person or not, whether we’re attracted to another person or not. It means so much. But then we have this world where, you know, we’re so image focused, but then there’s another narrative that says we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Like how do you balance the two?

I guess what I’m asking is like, how do you not be egotistical but also feel. Proud

[00:04:34] Alba: about what you look like, and it’s really interesting because it’s been an evolution in my business. So when I first started working, uh, I started as an image consultant. So I was helping people only with their image. Mm.

Then I felt like, mm, there’s a missing link here, because that’s what happened to me when I started exploring my image and how the way I look and dressed and how I did my makeup and my hair and loved all about it. I first, I felt that I ha was putting on a mask. Mm. That was helping me feel better, but it wasn’t enough.

So that’s when my own introspective journey in developing a strong mindset and understanding how my brain worked, what my self beliefs were, and how I needed to change. Uh, so then when I was doing that with my clients, I’m like, oh, I’m doing with my clients what I did with me. And that’s when I started expanding.

So now what I do is, So much more than the image. And I start with the mindset and I take a person through absolutely everything from body language, uh, to communications online presence to their image, because I think they’re all together. They all together can transform a person’s life. So I hundred percent feel that a person can change how they feel, but changing how they look.

But it’s not enough.

[00:05:39] Katherine: It’s not enough. I wanna get into this like in great detail. Yes. Because. I think there’s gonna be a lot of people listening and say, you know what, tomorrow when I wake up, you know, I, I think I’m gonna put on that outfit. And then the next morning comes and they see the outfit and they’re like, I’ll just wait until the next day when I feel better about myself.

Then I’ll wear that outfit. But we’ll get into that in a bit because I wanna know, what secret did you pick?

[00:06:09] Alba: Okay. The secret I pick is I am incredibly, I. Masterful of self touching myself every single day of my life. I never think I’m good enough. I never think I’m doing enough. I take myself out of the game every third day and then I stand up and go again.

And then the next day I, again, I’m filled with self-doubt thinking that I’m not good enough, that I’m not doing enough, that I’m not achieving enough. I to the point that I get into depression and then take out of myself again. And it’s been a pattern that has been going on since I was a little girl. Wow.

So

[00:06:42] Katherine: you recognize, clearly you recognize that pattern. Yeah.

[00:06:45] Alba: I’m much better now. Yeah. I is nothing out of it. Yet? Yeah. Yeah. I still

[00:06:50] Katherine: do it. Do you know where it started or was? Yes. Okay. Yes.

[00:06:52] Alba: Are you willing to share? Yeah, absolutely. Um, I, I, I, I, I like sharing this is because I think it’s surreal real, and it happens to many of us, and, and as part of the work I do is I, I feel just, um, grateful that I had those experiences that were so challenging because then I can help other people with it.

So it always started with me not having a good relationship with my mom. And feeling that the rejection from my mom made me at a deeper level, made me believe that there’s something wrong with me. And through that relationship, I kind of felt that I was failing at being mm, even a daughter, and I couldn’t have the recognition and love from my mom.

Mm. So my mom was pretty harsh on me. So it was never, never enough. And I have healed that relationship, and I have an incredible relationship with my mom, yet I have myself now to keep beating myself. Yeah, and I keep repeating that, so I haven’t, as I said, I am so much better at it. But yeah, just still do it.

[00:07:47] Katherine: It’s funny that old wounds, you know, you can bandaid them, you can fix them, you can even get plastic surgery to make them, you know, look better. But they’re still wounds and I think they really last for a lifetime.

[00:08:01] Alba: And you know, one of my coaches, uh, told me something that stuck with me and that’s why I kind of appreciate it.

She said it’s kind of like a spiral. And you start healing, and you start healing and you start healing. You look still there, still sore, but you have evolved. You have grown, you have found tools. So that’s how I feel and that’s how I get myself out of it because sometimes I’m like, you, you kidding me? Am I still doing this to myself?

After all the awareness, after all the learnings, after preaching, all I preach. And, but then I remember, no, no, I am, I am climbing on my spiral and my wound is still there. But I also think, as I said before, it has allowed me to learn so much. Then I can share. So, Pass it along. So yeah, I still get frustrated with myself of course, and I’m like, come on, I’ll not out of it.

Um, but yeah, that’s the, and that’s something that I think I am very open about my challenges, but I, I don’t think I’ve ever been so honest about today. Maybe yesterday I was there. Yeah. Dark place.

[00:08:57] Katherine: So you, you, you speak about depression? Mm-hmm. I mean, that’s, that’s a big word because I think it’s, you know, if you’ve been depressed before mm-hmm.

You realize that, you know, when people just say, I’m a bit sad, I feel down on myself. Different, very different. It’s like when people say, oh, you’re burnt out. Why don’t you go on a vacation? No, no. That’s Stacey’s. Yeah. Yeah. Different depression to me is like this dark cloud that I am weighs you down and keeps you in a PRI prison.

And I don’t know if you’ve felt that way, like just paralyzed. Yeah. I was

[00:09:28] Alba: diagnosed as a, with depression where I was very, very, very young and I literally spent. My most of my childhood in a, in a dark place without wanting to live. So it’s a very known place for me. Mm. Um, and I, I kind of got out of it and, and, and you know, like felt like so much better.

But then I have had many episodes and one no longer go last year when I again felt like I don’t wanna live. Like, it’s just those places when you just really feel like. Everything is too much and you can’t Mm. So yeah, I, there is a difference between depression and just being sad. I, I tend to have such a depressive personality, which is something then again that I try to, to manage.

Yeah. And learn and snap myself out of it. As much as I can. It’s

[00:10:13] Katherine: interesting. We, we were speaking about like, uh, you know, before we press record, is you can never judge a book by its cover. And you know, for the people listening, I want you to picture the most vibrant and like the most bubbly and beautiful and passionate and you’re, you’re Colombian.

So it’s like this beautiful sex on a stick. I mean, just gorgeous and smiley and then, On the inside, you feel a different way. And there’s this paradox between the outside and the inside. So how do you, I mean, with your clients, do you see that in your clients? Do you see this outside and then finally you get to

[00:10:50] Alba: their inside?

Yes. Yes. Absolutely. And, and that’s what I, because I, as I said, I shared quite openly with my clients, a few things with the purpose of them opening up. Mm-hmm. And, and I actually think that, um, even with my closest friends or with people that have become really good friends, After working with them, I do think that most of the people that are like with these type of big personalities, they have such a dark side.

Like they, and, and it is not that I’m being a hypo hypocrite or I am hiding who I am. Mm-hmm. Cause the days I am there, you won’t hear from me and I will disappear from the grid for two weeks. Okay. But when I’m there, I’m there and I’m with full glory and shine with no apologies. But then when I’m there, I just need to be in that side.

So yeah, I do think, um, A lot of people just might be, will never know what is happening behind by these, what, what they see. But at the same time, I am both person persons. I, they’re both me.

[00:11:45] Katherine: Yeah. Do, do you find that when you’re in that dark hole where that cloud is over top of you, do you know that you’re in a dark hole?

Like, can you Ira, like I know when I’m in that Yeah. Yeah. Dark space. I’m like, I, I know this is, this is not me. This is my mind.

[00:12:03] Alba: I know I can separate the two. I know. And I’ve been, and I’ve become then again, better at knowing that, okay, no, this is, this is not me and I can get through this. Uh, sometimes it take me a little time.

I just get to caught up. I’m, I’m an overthinker. And then I start sometimes so caught up in the whole thing that I lose sight of. Yeah. What is happening. And a couple of days can go past and I’m like, what happened? Yeah. Like, where did I go those two days?

[00:12:27] Katherine: There’s just such a paradox, right? Yeah. And have you, have you ever seen with your clients, like, you know, do you notice depressive?

Oh yeah. Yeah. And how do you approach that? Because that’s, that’s like big

[00:12:41] Alba: Oh yeah, no. And if I see like one of my clients is definitely deeply depressed, then I just, just ask them to, See somebody and work through that because there’s so much I can share about my experience and the tools that have worked for me, but I also have responsibility for them to take action and, and do it the proper way, whatever that is for them.

Mm. So I always kind of share and recommend them to talk to certain people. And then there’s tools that we can even work together and do. Uh, both things at the same time, but I, every time, like, you know, I think that’s the beauty of what I do and what I love it so much. I get to know people so intimately.

Yes. And they get to share so many things and we go, we all go through so much and, and sometimes it just a little bit, um, it makes you feel better to know, oh God, you also go through that and you also have the same doubts and you, you’ve overcome that. So maybe I can do that too. And, and even, I, I, I, I get.

I told a lot this by friends, so close people like you with the work that you do, why are you so vulnerable? Do you need to show this impression that you, you, you have it all under control? And I just laugh. I’m like, good luck with that. I’m just a human being and, and seriously, I just think it makes me more real and it makes me more able to help help others because I’m constantly dealing with something that reminds me what I need to be doing.

That reminds me that I keep need to keep on top of my mindset. That reminds me that I. I can go up and I can don’t go down and I know how to do it because I’ve done it so many times, then I can help others do the same.

[00:14:09] Katherine: Have you ever said like, I can’t do this anymore? Like as in, not, not in regards to any, but like as in like, I gotta get off this like circus ride and just totally, uh, I guess.

Escape from the world for a

[00:14:24] Alba: year. Totally. Yeah. I actually just had a little bit of escape year, not last year, but the year before. Okay. And

[00:14:31] Katherine: what can

[00:14:32] Alba: you tell? Yeah. Well, I think too many things happen. Um, who My, my godmother in Colombia, we have a good mother who was literally closer to me than my mom because I didn’t have that relationship with my mom.

Then she was like my mom, and she passed away in a very unexpected way. That woman was so full of life. Then if you think I’m full of energy, she was multiplied that by a million and she was my role model. So it was an unexpected cancer that took her away really quickly. So that was, for me, was like the closest that I’ve ever had.

Then my best friend’s husband who she just, just had just married, died at at 40 from a heart attack. They just got married and then he died. So those two events just literally wiped me out completely because I was like, What is going on? Like, like it really made me reassess everything and, and, and yeah, I literally couldn’t operate, I just had to take pretty much the year off just to put my pieces all first, to just let me just be completely destroyed.

Yes. And then bit by b just put my pieces all together again and yeah. And I was grateful I was able to do it and, uh, I am yet to comprehend. The depths of the lessons I’ve learned from that. I

[00:15:45] Katherine: was just about to ask you that, like if you look at yourself before that happened and after, what, what do you think has changed for the better in you?

[00:15:53] Alba: Um, because I’m a worrier and I’m overthinker, uh, I think it has helped me a little bit more to leave more in the present to just remind me that life is happening today. And, and since then I have had this intention of. How can I have the most fun, joy and be the most loving I can be every day? Obviously I lose track of that, but it has helped me a little bit more.

Mm. To, to just stay more in the present and make even more of the things that light me up. Mm.

[00:16:24] Katherine: Because isn’t like the Colombian culture Very Yes. Loud and eat and drink and dance. Yes. Like is it, is it literally like that

[00:16:32] Alba: all the time? Like, well, like we, you know, like, Most Colombians are loud and full of passion and happy.

I am quiet, like it’s just like up, up there with even within my friends. But then again, it is because of my other side that I then sometimes go in my quiet, um, little corner every time. I just came back from home and, and every time I go home I’m like, I love it. Like the, the culture, the people, the, the passion.

You can just breathe it as you walk through the streets and. And I think it has been hard for me being in Australia. I’ve been here for 18 years, but it has, sometimes I forget. I forget who I am and where I come from and what I need to connect to that passion and to that energy and to that. Love for life.

So yeah, it’s there. It’s always there. But I think sometimes it’s that little light gets just very little. And then with this reminder that life is so fragile. Mm-hmm. Um, I think I was kind of like, no. Okay. Let’s just remember what is important. I, I am lucky that I have chosen to live a very aligned life since I left my engineering corporate career and started my business, I have lived so much more.

Doing something I love, but finding balance in my lifestyle, traveling, doing the things that I love. But I think this was like the next, so, The next one, the next level there to just say Uhuh. Just it is today because I don’t know where I’m gonna be tomorrow. There’s a lot of talk

[00:18:00] Katherine: about this great resignation and obviously today is actually International Women’s Day of all days and I was just had an event and we were talking about how many, so, so many women wanna get out the corporate field and you know, be in business for themselves, which you have done.

Looking back, what are some of the, oh God, I wish I would’ve known that. Oh, God, moment.

[00:18:24] Alba: Uh, so many things is been an incredible journey of learning and challenges that I wouldn’t change for anything. But I, I, I think one thing is if I had had a little bit more confidence in my ability to work it out, Yeah, because I don’t have to know it all.

Mm. But like, I’ve worked it out. There’s people who knows who can help me. There’s coaches, I can engage courses, I can do. At the beginning, I felt too overwhelmed thinking I cannot work out this thing and I gotta stuck for a long time. So I think that just, you work it out. Just be confident in your passion for what you’re doing.

Mm. Cause you, if you have passion and that’s what you desire. It is gonna happen. You are gonna make it

[00:19:07] Katherine: happen. Yes. I think there’s a saying, uh, something along the lines of when you’re ready to learn, the teacher will show up. Exactly. Yeah. So do you have that sort of teacher or privilege show

[00:19:19] Alba: up?

Absolutely. Yeah. I, I’ve had always a coach and a mentor throughout my whole. Entrepreneurial career. I, I love learning. I have a very active mind. I’m very logic and I need to find the science behind everything. Mm. Plus I have my spiritual teachers that I’ve needed a lot also to help me balance my mind and my heart and just really move from being a very logic woman into my heart.

So, absolutely always. Yes. And I think that makes me better, a better coach. Mm. Because I think if I’m not learning, then it’s limited when I can share. So I’m learning through my personal experiences and I love learning through. A person who can teach me a lot of things, then there’s so much more I can share.

[00:19:56] Katherine: And speaking of sharing, I mean we’re both, I’m wearing these amazing earrings that I get compliments on all the time. I was just saying that everyone, oh, is that like Dior?

[00:20:06] Alba: No, it’s algo with accessories. Yes.

[00:20:09] Katherine: So is it, you know, giving? Yes. This is what, whenever I put these on, I’m like, Aw, that just, I feel your energy and I feel your love and your passion, but also your givingness, if that’s even a word.

Can you tell us about this? Yes, because I love every single earring on the collection.

[00:20:24] Alba: Thank you. Thank you. Well, this is like as, as we’ve shared before, this is just something that couldn’t bring me so much more Joy. First is representing and is bringing Colombia to the world. So all the accessories are handmade by Colombian artisans.

This sole income earner, women support the families through the work. And then I not only support them, but I am bringing my beautiful country and its colors and in uniqueness and the story of all the passion and that I said before that I think we all need so much always. Mm. And then, um, sharing that with, at the moment, I, I am delivering worldwide, but I’m concentrating in Australia, so bringing it to Australian women and then a part of the prophets go back to help educate kids with no access, with no access to education in my country that there’s.

A lot of them. Yes. So I’ve always dream of being like Shakira, who has like a massive foundation for kids and she just, it’s, it’s, it’s obviously a massive scale. I’m just a tiny little thing. But one thing, one day I thought, well, I get started and I never know where I can get with that. So for me, it’s all about bringing the beauty of my country to Australia, supporting those women and giving back.

Because as I, I think you’ve noticed nothing like me more than my country. Like I just love it. Even

[00:21:37] Katherine: when you’re talking about it, like your tone changes and everything. And in Columbia, I mean, obviously I never been there. I have the bias perspective because obviously I’ve seen, you know, the, the cartel movies and so forth.

And that’s, you know, a lot of people think that way. A lot of people think that, you know, this is, this is a country that has been through a lot and how is it now?

[00:22:00] Alba: Well, it’s very different and I guess, oh, it’s a complicated moment to speak about as we just changed governments to a very interesting one.

But let’s say what I wanna say,

[00:22:08] Katherine: that was a very politically way to just push that under the rug. Yes. Because we’re not

[00:22:13] Alba: gonna go there. We’re not gonna go there. But just to really explain, and what I love about this, like this last time, every time I go to Columbia, there’s more and more tourists, more and more tourists.

And um, I had the opportunity to talk a lot of people this time, which was incredible. People from overseas and other countries, and. And I, it lights me out when I get to see people that finally see what an incredible place this is and how much we have to offer in so many different ways. Like, I guess there is a, a drug problem.

There is. There is. That’s everywhere. Yeah. There is a corruption problem, isn’t it? Everywhere. Everywhere. Um. To start with Colombia don’t take drugs. And I think people might go without what, like people think they’re gonna go to Colombia in every corner. I have never in my entire life seen cocaine. And yes, we are supposed to produce the west one in the world, do not wanna know anything about it.

So first of all, that’s one thing. There is a conflict. There’s areas that are, is dangerous. Yes, when all the growing and dealing happen, I do literally don’t know anything about it. What I see is the country I lived for 26 years that I visit often, that is. Just an incredible place full of, as I said before, there’s so much you need to experience it, to understand it, but there’s so much aliveness.

Mm-hmm. And, and the people are so warm and kind and there’s so much color and it’s a little bit messy. Obviously we have this pristine, clean, organized city mm-hmm. That I find a bit boring cuz you know, I go, it’s expected. Yeah. Everything

[00:23:37] Katherine: is expected, you know,

[00:23:38] Alba: whereas there is like, it’s always spontaneous, like people are just friendly and smiley and I, I just.

Took many Ubers in this trip and I got out of those Ubers knowing the deepest secrets of these people. Yes. Uh, it is just that warmth and openness that, yeah, it, I think so. The food is, I think, and, and we can share the story of the peacock here now. Yes, please. It’s really, we are just so full blown and we are just so happy to give and share.

So I, I’ve always shared the story that what really. It got me confused about women with the tall poppy syndrome in Australia and then scared of standing out and no wanting to be seen, no. Wanting to blow their own horn. And I’m thinking, what are they talking about? When I described that made me think, whereas in Colombia where like PE pick hooks mm-hmm.

The bigger, the louder, the more colorful, the more feet are clothes, the bigger everything is. Like seriously is like, and it’s so interesting because it is. There is a little bit of vanity there, but then again, being vain in Colombia is a good thing. Mm. Because it is not being vain for being a egocentric and being better than anybody else.

It’s being vain in a way in which you like taking care of who you are. You put an effort, you are taking care of you, and you love yourself enough to take time to do your makeup. Mm-hmm. Put your clothes together in a way that you represent yourself with pride. Mm-hmm. And you stand tall and you go out.

For glory to share that with the world. Like a peacock, literally like a beautiful, what do you think when you see a peacock? Wow. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Whereas here, like, wow, who do she thinks he, he, she’s, and I have a lot of clients and friends who say, but if I do that, or if I say that, or if I wear that, what are people gonna be judging me and thinking, who the hell do I think I am?

I’m like, you’re an incredible, beautiful, talented, gorgeous woman. Mm-hmm. And the other analogy that I was told to me once, that I thought how beautiful his dad is. Imagine the sky at night had a star. Beautiful. But do we judge that there’s a million stars shining? The more it starts shining in the sky, the more beautiful the scenery to look at.

So that’s it. Love. I go to Colombia and then I’m looking at this woman and this woman and this woman and, and it’s like, and then not only how they look, but how they act, how they carry themselves. It’s so inspiring. Mm-hmm. It’s beautiful. So I always. Like using those two comparison of the peacock and in the stars.

The, the more we shine and the more we inspire others to shine.

[00:26:10] Katherine: Yes. When we shine brighter, we shine light on someone else. And I would say, you know, there’s a big difference between taking pride in your appearance and being obsessed about it. Exactly. And there’s, you know, how, you know from the outside, can you really tell the difference?

I think I can. Mm-hmm.

[00:26:28] Alba: You can. I can straight away.

[00:26:30] Katherine: And how, how do you notice it? Like I have my own little,

[00:26:33] Alba: like, uh, for me it’s senses they carry themselves and it’s, the smile is in, the smile is in the expression of the

[00:26:38] Katherine: face. Mm-hmm. And just even how their, where their eyes go.

[00:26:42] Alba: I. Yeah. And that, you know.

Yeah. And, and that’s the thing, like some women, and they look, sometimes they look and they, they kind of don’t make a contact. Correct. They feel like, whereas a woman who’s just confident and loving, she will make a contact. She will smile. She will just kind of share, because that’s, that’s the other thing that I think is more sharing more of who you are and not just with your clothes.

It’s just like opening, it’s like opening up Yes. A little bit instead of just. Hiding behind the mask or the

[00:27:08] Katherine: look, it’s interesting that you say that, like, you know, almost opening up, there’s, I looked up the definition, the, the etymology of the word evolution, and it means to unroll something that has been rolled up.

Mm-hmm. And it’s kind of the same thing to open up something that was closed. And that’s like the evolution of us. Like how do we just constantly evolve? I, I was just thinking about when you were thinking about, uh, when you were talking about that lady and like, what are people gonna think. And how do we go from worrying so much about what other people think about us versus actually understanding the only person we should care about.

Judgment is how we

[00:27:46] Alba: judge ourselves. Oh God. Yeah, that’s, that’s been a really big one for me, especially in our culture because as many things Colombia has, judgment is at the top of them, so Really? Yes. Which is funny. Like you family, you family will really judge you and they wanna have a saying in everything that you do, so they will have an opinion.

The thing is, because we are so open, we will express and we’ll tell you, and people will get bothered by it. Okay, so

[00:28:09] Katherine: wait, wait. I need to put this in my mind into nice little compartment. So when you’re out and about and you see like the women peacocks and stuff like that. Yeah. You’re like, oh my god.

Amazing. And there’s no judgment.

[00:28:20] Alba: Ah, there will people who will judge, but nobody cares. Okay. So women don’t care. They know there will people who will be just enjoying their pick ness. Yeah. And people who will be judging it. Mm-hmm. None of their business

[00:28:33] Katherine: with a snap on the end. Yes. But your

[00:28:36] Alba: family. Yes.

Then the family, they’re very opinionated in how you act, how you do what you do. Having kids not having kids. When are you getting married? Like, you know, with all those things of how you lead your life. Oh yes. They think they have an opinion and they deserve a committee open where they, the opinions are should and should be taken into consideration and that’s when I’m like, Away.

[00:28:57] Katherine: Okay. So did

[00:28:58] Alba: that happen to you? Oh yeah. Yeah. When I came to Australia, I was like, the disappointment, like to this day, one of my sisters still like, why do this? How you, how could you do this to us? And, and why did you abandon us? And Right. Use the family

[00:29:12] Katherine: is like, yes, family is everything. Family is everything.

And you are like, non mass.

[00:29:16] Alba: Bye Chao. See you later. Yes. Wow. And which wa And it was very unexpected too. So it was, I fell in love and I fell in love to Australia. So in three months I was, then I wasn’t, and everybody was like, what happened? And because I, I always been incredibly passionate and a love of my country.

Nobody saw it coming. Yes, there’s a lot of people who want to live, but I had a beautiful life there, so just loved it. So my family, they, they, they 18 years and I guess still sometimes just. Why do you come? So for a short period of time, why don’t you come? They cannot say, why do you come more? Because I go every six months.

But why do you come longer? Yeah. Uh, that’s always, yeah, that’s always like something never enough. And so, yeah, it’s, it’s very opinionated. But then I think that also taught me and moving to Australia and taking myself away from the whole, I went like, uh, seriously. I live my life for others. For a long years, I, I did engineering because my ex, the expectations of my parents was that my two 60 s are engineers as well.

I did everything and I was able to break from all the expectations. I got married and didn’t have kids, which I’m still in denial without them. And, and then I realized, well, this is my life. Who is gonna live it? Um, yes, it’s me. So I’m gonna do what I want. And then I learn and realize people opinions of you are none of your business.

They’re gonna judge you no matter what you do. Mm-hmm. And am I gonna live my life for them, or am I gonna choose to be happy and seriously my heart and my soul? Have happiness as a priority, because I have gone through a lot and I went and got fed up from suffering and inflicting so much on me that I went like, you know what?

Whatever makes me happy and whatever you think, I’m not disrespecting anybody. Mm-hmm. You not my business. And I always say to my clients, imagine it’s like you have a central beautiful energy. You have a massive leak. Yeah. Worrying so much about what people think of you. Yeah. All your energy is leaked and that you feel empty.

Yeah. And sad. What if you stop? Stop worrying so much about what people think and see how you feel when you have regained again, the power of just not living life for others. Mm-hmm. There’s a few techniques that I shared there, and it’s kind of like, because I’ve experienced it and then I feel so much stronger now.

So how do you do that?

[00:31:34] Katherine: How do you start worrying more about yourself than others? First

[00:31:37] Alba: of all, get to know yourself better. And, and then, yeah. And then people say, I know who I am. No. No, you don’t. No, you don’t. And I have worked on this intensively for 25 years, and I mm-hmm. Sometimes I peel some layers and I’m like, so I, I’ve created like a set of questions that ask you things in many different ways.

We go back to your story, we understand. The way we act today is the result of our childhood mostly. So sometimes we don’t realize that we are just reacting, not even thinking. So really getting into understanding where those behaviors come, the good ones and the not so good ones. The reactions, the, uh, really looking at that.

And, and when you do that and you actually also remember that you are not meant to get it all right, then again, I think it’s when the little fire starts just kind of. Uh, starting then. A lot of techniques to stop your brain from going there. Yeah. Uhuh. And then how can you start saying more? No. So very little things.

It’s like that. Say no and see how you feel. Yeah. Nobody’s gonna die if you don’t, don’t go to that dinner that you dread going, uh, having that uncomfortable conversation with the family member or with your boss or with your little things. Little things that add up little thing. And seriously, I put my clients through a set of exercises and little things, 20 little things.

By the end of day they’re like, what is the next big task? Like, right? Yes. Like, now I’m ready to do something bigger. And then that’s when you start. I think it’s all about regaining that passion because I think a lot of, a lot of us have lost that passion for life and we don’t realize. It’s happened because we are running an autopilot or we’re living someone else’s life, or we’re living someone else’s life.

So then, I know this doesn’t sound to correlate to personal branding, but that’s what I always say. I have my own approach to personal branding that I created because it’s based on my story and what works at the end of the day. For me, personal branding is how you communicate who you are and how people perceive that.

Where else can we start done by you remembering who you are. Mm-hmm. And remembering what you want, and creating a life that is in alignment with all of that. So when you start just building those little, saying no, when you mean no, saying yes, when you mean yes. Remembering that what people think of you is none of your business and saying something little.

Mm. And, and watching yourself and watching how the other person responds and seeing that nobody died because of it and doing those little actions, then I think it’s kind of like, okay, yeah, no, I can do this. Yeah. And it makes you feel good. So then you wanna try something, it’s your more

[00:33:57] Katherine: Yeah, I, it’s one thing I always joke that it’s gonna be something that I’m working on until my last dying days.

I want everyone to like me. Yes. Like even when you messaged this morning, like, oh, we still want, I was like, the first thing I thought was, oh my God. She’s gonna hate me because I haven’t like updated her. No, I, my hand to gone, it didn’t happen. But I understand what you’re saying. You know what? It’s even those kind of things like, oh, you know, I should have done it last night and I meant I was gonna do it this morning, but I should have done it last.

It’s always sad. Or if I say something and then someone just looks. Like they changed their eyes a certain way. I’m like, I must have said something wrong. And it’s constant and it’s exhausting. It’s so exhausting and it’s something that I’m definitely working on. Then I see my partner, he doesn’t give a flying f.

About what anyone thinks. Anyone thinks. I’m like, how do I, how do what water are you drinking? But it’s, it’s a slow process

[00:34:55] Alba: isn’t It’s a process. Process. It’s a process. Like one of my friends, uh, just say like, how do you really, because I’m so direct and I am not as scared of a fan, and it’s a Colombian thing to be very direct, so it’s cultural.

I say things and I can see how people go, like. And I’m like, oh, I, I’m kind. But I will say things directly. I, and, but I wasn’t like that before. I think, um, I think it comes back to me, first of all understanding that I am not gonna be liked by anybody, but I wanna be liked by me and I wanna live in alignment with what I think.

Obviously I’m not rude or anything of those things, but, um, I am kind, I am nice, I am warmth. I am loving. Sometimes if I don’t have anything like to say I stay quiet, but, but I don’t. I don’t. I don’t because it’s exhausting. And then I think I have done so much work on self-love and loving my little girl and looking into the mirror and looking into my eyes deeply and saying I love me.

I appreciate me that I have learned. To give me that appreciation. I, I still obviously wanna be liked, but I, I’m not a, a, a no pleaser. I’m pursuing that continuously. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, so I guess it’s kind of like when I catch myself and when I used to be more like that, I would catch myself in the moment and tell me, I love you.

I, I really love you. You’re amazing. You’ve got this. The only person you need this approval from is you. And then that’s how I was able to make changes in my life and in my career, knowing that I was being judged. Like I was literally straight going to hell, like. Yeah, like just literally like in my family, they were like not having kids leaving her engineering for doing what?

Going to a different country with this guy that she doesn’t even know that well and all those things. And uh, yeah, I guess I just went like, I don’t wanna be like, I wanna be happy.

[00:36:43] Katherine: Yes. I’ll get back to you on that. I’m still working. Yes. In about 10 years. No. Yes. I think when you were talking about that, I was just thinking, is that always the case or is it when I really respect people and I was thinking with the people that I really respect, i e you, I’m more concerned, right.

That I’m not doing right by them, but for the people that I don’t know or. Potentially, I don’t respect, I, it’s not like I don’t not respect a lot of people, but do you think that’s a big difference? Like if, if you respect someone, yeah. I think

[00:37:19] Alba: having it makes sense. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. And I guess, obviously I might be more blunt with my closest friends that it’s not that I don’t respect them, but we are closer and they know me.

Oh yeah. Uh, you know that. Yeah. I guess, I guess it makes a lot of sense. And I guess it’s natural instinct, a human instinct to be liked and loved. We all wanna be liked and loved. I think the problem becomes when it be when, when it is on the top of your mind every day. Yeah. And you drive your actions. Yes.

By being liked, yes, my closest friend and yeah, she’s gonna kill me. I’m saying this, but I, we have this conversation. I say, you have to stop doing so many things, listening in order to be liked, because I. It end up having the opposite result. She over promises and under delivers. Mm. And and we had conversations in which I’m like, people are saying this.

And you didn’t even have to say, because who you are is enough. Why are you doing this? And, and then she’s the most incredible woman. I like you just be you and you’re gonna be liked and loved, but it’s when you are going for that extra thing. The other thing also is like, I think when we are looking something outside, It’s because we are lacking something.

Mm-hmm. Inside. Mm-hmm. So I always think, what is it that you are wanting to get? Nobody outside is gonna give you that, that you can only give to yourself. So what is the approval, the love, the appreciation that you need. And if you start giving that to yourself every single morning in a little hug, kiss, I don’t know, a little smile to yourself, you might start craving less.

Yes. That approval from the outside.

[00:38:50] Katherine: It’s, I think getting older makes it a lot easier. Like it helps that, yeah. You know, and I have this little thing on my makeup mirror. It says, you have a gift that only you can give the world. And I, that’s, that’s, I look at that every morning amongst many other quotes to self be true and all that stuff.

But I think that one hits home for me because oftentimes we get so caught up in someone else’s world and what their journey is, and we forget that our own unique. Journey is exactly that and it has so much beauty and so much power and so much value, but we’re so distracted. Like you say hello her, them blah, blah, blah, and just slowing down and remembering that I, I think it’s definitely

[00:39:31] Alba: helped myself.

It helps a lot. And you know, when you mentioned that, what make me think is the, this comparison thing that, that we tend to do, and I think it happens to all of us and with social media now it’s even worse. And one of my coaches. Shared something that, that, that really is similar to the star thinking and shining is like, do allow other people doing things, um, an inspiration for what is possible.

Mm-hmm. So instead of seeing it as, Why is he or she or Wow, that’s available. And if it’s available to her, what is available to me? And, and, and Gabby bursting also put it as driftwood. So every time you drift wood, I dunno how to pronounce it properly. Driftwood. Yeah. Yes. Yes. So every time you see something out there that you want in a journey that instead of going like, mm, just go and say, The universe is showing me this because it’s getting, it’s coming close.

Mm-hmm. So allows us to compare ourselves less to others. Mm-hmm. And to stay then again, is to stay in our little own lane, not letting those leagues distract us. Mm-hmm. From the incredible journey. Only us can leave if we are focused, because if we’re so distracted by opinions of others, by comparing ourself to others, we are just gonna take so much longer to get to where, where we want to go.

[00:40:44] Katherine: I would say comparison. Also, jealousy is never about a who. It’s a about a what? Yes. Yes, because it’s never about that person. It’s never about that incredible woman man person that it looks a certain way. It’s about what they’ve achieved. And that took me a long time to realize, and I, I found myself being a very not nice person inside my head.

I’m like, this is not me. Like, I wanna support those people in, in. Once I realized that, I was like, oh God, that’s actually an indication about what’s important to me. Yes.

[00:41:15] Alba: I actually have been able to shift it that way. And obviously sometimes you can avoid to go like, yeah, but then I breathe through it and I’m like, I remember this is just the universe showing me there’s something there that I want.

Mm-hmm. What can I do about it? Or it is available. And then let’s get into

[00:41:30] Katherine: it. So do you use all these techniques on yourself, like when you are in that low. Oh yeah. Kind of state.

[00:41:38] Alba: Absolutely. So, yeah, that, that’s the, that’s the thing that I guess the more I learn, the more I just go there and, and, and, and, and use techniques that I say some, some are simply dancing, jumping, getting my, my body moving, exercising, affirmations, talking to myself, explaining to myself, getting thoughts out on paper so they can.

Be out my brain. Yes. Burn them out. I love rituals. So literally they will, the Indians and the Sage, Sage, we were letting all those energies out. So yeah. I love, I love, and that’s the, that’s what I kind of love of what I do because I get the, to leave it so, Even with the communication things like I know so much about body language that I don’t apply to me because I’m too excited when I get talking that I’m just letting the passion just do it.

But then I’m like, no, okay, we can do this. I start practicing everything on me, and I know how effective it is. Yeah, to take me out of a dark place to help me come across as some more credible speaker, all those things. But I’m always practicing and playing with the tools on myself. Yeah. Because that’s the best way to really internalize them, so then I can share them.

That’s it.

[00:42:43] Katherine: I love the music thing. Ah, yes. I love it. There’s, you know, what’s, what’s your favorite song? Oh, to listen to.

[00:42:49] Alba: There’s, you won’t know the, the, the, the song, but Latin music, I love salato, like this music that you literally cannot stay in standing Yes. Where you start listening to it. So I live to that music pretty much.

So do you, do you do Latina dancing? Of course. Yes, of course, of course, of course, of course. I’m listening to that at home all the time. My husband is Australian and he, he literally now has Latin in his blood and he, he’s playing my music all the time. I go dancing here more often lately, when I go home, all I wanna do is go dancing.

I love it. It’s like nothing makes me more happy and alive. And I think every single person should try Latin music because it’s amazing.

[00:43:28] Katherine: I love it. I love it, but I cannot sit down when I’m listening to it. I know

[00:43:33] Alba: it’s impossible. You know? When I am working and concentrating, then I do need to put like a chill out or something.

Yeah. But if I’m, you know, chat away or just doing it around the house or doing something in the office that doesn’t require extreme attention, I am just there dancing and working and doing things.

[00:43:49] Katherine: What is it about that music? Because I think. Personally, I think that you could be from the complete opposite side of the world and listen to that music, and there’s something about it that gets into your bones and just makes you feel like the most amazing, sexy and energetic person alive.

Or maybe that it could just

[00:44:10] Alba: be me. No, no. I think in general, I think it’s a reflection of the culture. Yes, and, and because as I said, I think the, the whole, I love Colombia, but the whole Latin culture is so rich and so beautiful and so passionate. Love it. So I think it is so infused with that it’s created for people from there with those rhythms and those old percussion things that it’s kind of like literally I feel my blood starts moving and I’m like, immediately, yeah, me, me too.

I’m just now thinking I need to run this now. Like seriously, it’s one of those things that, um, Bring, I think music is powerful or, oh yeah, music is powerful. It’s just that the Latin music has a bit to it. That transmits a lot of passion. It does. And then, yes, and sex. Yes.

[00:44:49] Katherine: No matter what, you cannot tell. I, I just think the Latinas, you culture, I mean, if you look at JLo as one example, yeah, it’s, yes.

I mean, when she’s 90, she’s still gonna be a sex symbol. Oh yeah. You know, it’s just the way people move and I just think that it’s, I wish more people could look at that culture because it back in, I’ll, I’ll say this, back in Toronto, in Canada, we have a big Latina. Yes. Would you say, do you say Latino or Latino?

[00:45:17] Alba: Well, we say Latino. But Latino because it’s Latino because men and women, but men don’t even get into that. Yes.

[00:45:23] Katherine: But I, I remember we would go on like Wednesdays, it was like Latina night and so forth, and there’d be like these white guys who couldn’t dance for shit and they’d be on the dance floor, but the energy was there and you just walk out there feeling so, Good.

Yes. So good. I’m gonna go home and like listen Yes to it, obviously

[00:45:41] Alba: now. Yes. I’m gonna say a couple of songs that I love at the moment, and that’s it. And, and I think part of the thing as, as when I work with the body language side of things and there’s so much science about it too. Like when you move your body and you get, you can affect how you brain is operating by.

How you start moving with your body. So what best way to just notice that your day. So I love it. Like sometimes I say to my husband, seriously, it’s like six in the morning. We just open our eyes. He’s beating up like this music that I love. Yeah. But I’m still waking up. But I’m like, no, leave it. Because we are just happy and I start dancing and.

It just feeds me with so much joy. So I highly recommend everybody. Yes, go and get your Latin music playlist and totally,

[00:46:21] Katherine: totally do anything to it. Yes, I have one in the car actually. I actually have what’s called a cd, which I know. Do you remember CDs? Yes, of course. CD in the car. And it’s Latino music, so I gotta put that in.

So you have so much energy and clearly so much to give so many tools. So if someone, you know, Is at that stage where like they know that there’s another level. They know that they wanna present themselves to the world in a different way, like, Where do they start? They go on your website, they see you, like when you work with a client one-on-one, where do you

[00:46:53] Alba: start?

Yeah, so well, so if you go on in my website, so there will be a box that pops up that allows you to a little, um, analysis of where your personal brand is at. It’s quite simple, so it gives you a little bit of a hint of what are the areas that this work covers so you can kind of say, okay, this is what I need.

So that gives you a, a little bit of a guidance. There’s a lot of free resources there as well. I have a podcast, but then, you know, I love people and I love chatting, so the best way is send me an email and we can just have a chat and see, and see what is it that you need, what you’re looking for, and, and as I said at the beginning, this is all about communicating who you are.

This is not just about your image. For me, the image now is secondary is the icing on the cake that some people choose to work on. Some people don’t. This is just a fundamental, a change in how you see yourself and how you communicate. Uh, when you speak with how you share, how you show up on LinkedIn, on a conversation, in a meeting, how you use your body language, how you use your energy, love that Then that, that personality is in that popup box will give you a little bit of an idea like, okay, these are areas that I can start improving, and if somebody wants to take it further, send me an email and we have a chat.

[00:48:01] Katherine: Perfect. I’m gonna do that analysis. I’m so curious now. So curious. All right. I need to ask you one final question. Yes. But I want this in your own language. Ah,

[00:48:12] Alba: in Spanish. You want me to answer in, in a Spanish? Yes. Okay. See?

[00:48:15] Katherine: See, I would love you to share what is your favorite quote That really means something.

Meaningful to you. Okay. But in your own

[00:48:24] Alba: language. Oh my God. One of the things that I repeat to myself is I am enough. How do you say that In Spanish. So

[00:48:32] Katherine: you gotta slow that. Soy. Soy, which means I am

[00:48:36] Alba: soy

[00:48:38] Katherine: societe. Yes. Oh,

[00:48:39] Alba: sufficient. Yes. But it means I am enough.

[00:48:42] Katherine: So, So,

[00:48:46] Alba: yes, iste, Societe. And the other one that I say to myself a lot that it was, uh, one that my coach actually gave me in Spanish is Joe.

Joe. And it means I receive. I receive, yeah. And I actually, funny enough, when I get a message and I’m always, I’m on my back when I’m there open, I repeat it. I receive, I receive. And I just imagine me receiving blessings, love, happiness. And it’s one thing that I keep, but I do say it in Spanish.

I got that, but you can say, Rebo? Yes. Oh, okay. Right. But just that we roll the

[00:49:26] Katherine: I know it sounds so much better. Yes. Re I just sound like a Canadian angle. It’s like, Hey, Rebo.

[00:49:33] Alba: Yeah. I know sometimes when my husband is saying things, I’m like, oh, you sound so funny you speaking in Spanish. Spanish. It’s not the

[00:49:38] Katherine: same.

It’s funny. I’ve had a like a long day and it’s impossible not to feel alive and awake with you here. It’s just been. Such a pleasure. So many tips, so many tricks, so many insights in regards to the mind and also the body and how they talk to each other, so. What can I say? We’re gonna put all the links, obviously in the show notes.

Thank you

[00:50:00] Alba: so much. Oh, thank you. I love chatting to you. Thank you so much for inviting me, Kat. It was

[00:50:05] Katherine: a pleasure. Well, thank you everyone for listening, and once again, never forget that every day is your chance to shine. Thank you lots love.