More than physical fitness: The job of a Formula 1 Performance Coach

0:00

So motivation is a big buzz word. I mean, when I say buzz word, it’s been a buzz word for, you know, probably 40 years and it’s going to be a buzz word for a long time. Can I ask you, what is your definition of motivation? I’m probably going to say having clarity and being consistent. And what I mean by that is because this is actually the number one question I get given that people send me my my inbox is Michael I’m struggling on motivation? How do I get motivated? But I think the number one thing you have to do is just break down and find clarity. So like, you’re Why so what? Why you’re doing something. So I do like to break my my why’s into intrinsic goals and extrinsic goals, intrinsic being like your deep embodiment of who you want to be as a person and extrinsic of you know, you have more of your superficial goals, whether it’s a a business goal, it could be it could be a weight goal. I want to drop ten kilos and then you and then you figure out why. Okay, so why do I want to lose ten kilos? And and then you start you start figuring out from like, an embodiment level of, okay, why this actually why this is really important to me. And then once you figure out why these things are really important to you and you’ve got clarity, there’s your motivator right there. So that’s that’s kind of where I kind of go into it with my athletes and help them self-motivated. Because as a coach, yes, it’s easy for me to be their main motivator, but there has to be a level of self motivation for them and I guess helping them find their own clarity and find their purpose in life is is the biggest motivator you can have essentially. Welcome, everyone, to another episode of Secrets In The City where we turn stories of our past into strategies that help us build the confidence we need and the know how we need to build a successful future. My name is Dr. Katherine Iscoe, although everyone just calls me Dr. Kath And once again, I am your proud host for this episode and what an episode it is going to be. I have to admit I’m a little bit nervous because this guy is friggin incredible and I’m not just blowing smoke up his ass. It actually is true. Michael Italiano get this is a Formula One performance coach. Just to be super clear, because I did that whole, you know, the personal training, this and that. This guy is so knowledgeable. He’s an athlete, performance and strength coach for some of the top athletes of the entire world. And you know what? That’s only one of the many reasons that I implore you to listen to this episode and also take notes. You’re going to want to take notes because I know you were going to get some incredible tips from someone who has an endless amount of wisdom when it comes to holistic health, you know, not just nutrition and exercise, but our favorite topic, which is mindset. You know, the way I see it, Michael, is kind of like that guy that understands that health is like an orchestra. You know, you can’t just focus on one instrument and then another instrument and like hope for a symphony. He really has that knowledge to fine tune everything. But, you know, that’s not all. This is not I’m going to tell you, I only met once, but I knew right then and then and there is something truly special about him. You know, I would say there’s a couple different kinds of people in life. There are the kinds of people that shake hands, and there are the kinds of people that hug Michael is a hugger. And let me tell you, it was an amazing hug. This guy’s like to me about 700 feet tall, but that’s everyone to me. And I thought he was going to be a really special guest on this podcast because, yes, we’re going to be talking about health, obviously. But when I saw the secret that he chose, I thought, this, my friends, is going to be an episode that you’re not going to want to miss because here’s the thing. I always say what you see is rarely what is of course, because I always do this, I’m blabbing on. I could talk under water. I’m going to give you all the details about Michael and how you can reach him and stalk him online. But I got to tell you this before we get started, you need to go over to his website. Michaelitaliano.com Scroll down a bit. And there is this free two minute quiz. I’ve been in health and exercise for about 25 years. Nothing usually surprises me. Take the quiz because let me tell you the results surprised me. So they’re definitely going to surprise you. So Michael, I’m going to stop talking. I’m going to stop everything. Welcome to The Secrets in the City podcast. It’s such a pleasure to have you here, especially with your schedule. Hey, Kat,it’s lovely. Lovely to chat too. And that was probably officially the best introduction I’ve ever had on a podcast. So thank you. Okay, After that introduction, I got it. Can I just be honest with you? Totally honest. Go for it. Never like to F1. Never, ever liked F1 one. So I’m just going to be totally honest. when I watched this concept of F1, I’m like I just thought, what are these guys doing going around the track over and over again? But let me just give the audience a bit of a 411. So my partner met you through a mutual friend and he came home and he was just like, Oh my God, this Michael guy. Like, he’s so amazing. He’s so young, but he’s so determined. He’s so such a driven guy. And he just kept on talking about you. Talking about you. I’m like, Dear God. Little like yet another bromance here and it’s ripening. And then I finally met you. And it’s funny that you had this preconceived idea of people because you are incredibly impressive like, you know, Netflix show, you know, you train, you get the top athletes and you just came right over to me and gave me the biggest smile and the biggest hug and long story short, it just opened my eyes not only to you, but also F1 racing. And Vlado and I started… We’re totally addicted to F1 now, totally addicted to F1 because of you. totally addicted to F1 because of you. No way. Okay, let’s that that’s good to know if I’ll take two extra supporters. Absolutely. So we’re going to talk about lots of things, obviously, but we always kick off the episode with whatever secret you chosen. And so I’d like to invite you to the make what secret have you chosen and what you choose it. Why did it resonate with you? Yeah, there were a ton of secrets and I thought it would be tough to select the secret. But to be honest, it was. it’s a… It was too easy. It flashed before me. I saw the The one that says the fear of not living up to your own potential. And that that one just slapped me right in the face. And that’s something that I’ve kind of dealt with since I’m going to say since I left school all those years ago. Yeah, I think just the way I guess the way I’m wired I always had high expectations of myself, whether it was in school or mainly when I was playing sports, competing. I always had high expectations that I wanted to reach the top level. I want to be better. I want to be, you know, super competitive. And that kind of, I think, just stimulated it in my everyday life to a point where I always wanted to I always knew I could do really, really well in life, that was the potential I had in my head. And I guess that that scared the crap out of me thinking that, okay, if I don’t live up to this potential, what’s going to happen and how am I going to feel? So, yeah, it’s something that I’m going to openly say, Yeah, probably still with me. Probably not as much anymore. I kind of just I’d like to I’ve kind of trained myself to go with the flow a little bit. Now as you mature and you understand life more and you go through it, you know, you experience a lot more through life. But definitely in my twenties that was something that I guess I would probably said before, before heights was my biggest fear heights. And then something that just slaps you in the face. Isn’t it interesting? I got it. I got to say this when I was thinking about that as both you and I are passionate about mindset and helping others grow their mindset because that’s something that you can change from the time that you’re pooped out onto this earth to the time that you’re one foot in the coffin. Right? It’s so easy to tell other people how incredible they are, how successful they are, yet when we look in the mirror, we cannot tell the person that is staring right back at us. So, one, do you agree with this? And if you do, why do you think it’s so hard to take our own advice? Yeah, you’re right. It is easy to compliment someone and and not not check in with yourself. And I guess that kind of was what made me as a person. When I transitioned to a coach, I realized I can’t help these people from a mental capacity until I actually look after myself from a mental capacity. And, you know, saying goes, you know, the saying, you can’t love someone until you love yourself. And it’s kind of the same thing. So I did a bit of self evaluating I did some research and actually I did a did some study in the NLP area. I’m not sure what people on unaware it stands for neuro neuro linguistic programing. So it was an online course I did it through a Sydney coach who I value and rate very highly Jay Hadley he has a business called Coaching Room and it challenges you to figure out a lot about yourself and put yourself in a very confused state and figure out who you are as a person. What are your own unresourceable states? What are your resourcable states. and learning particular anchor strategies to to anchor your resourcable states and get out of those I guess you could almost call them negative habits that don’t serve you well. So I think that was something that really resonated with me and that that helped me grow. And then essentially I could then transition that onto my athletes. So you could really relate. have you ever had the desire to just be like, I quit, I quit this whole thing I don’t think I’m ever going to get to where I want to go? Like Bally’s, I think is like the Australian term, if that’s right. Yeah, there’s probably two instances where I… yeah, like, I think self-doubt naturally just pops up on your bad days when the day is is just throwing haymakers at you one after the other and you just, you can’t duck enough in time and you have a little bit of, you know, self-doubt here and there. But yeah, there were a couple like two big moments, I’d probably say when I first transitioned to coaching, I was in a full time civil design role working in the city, working for a company called called WorleyParsons, actually in Perth, you know, getting getting paid really good money and then turning and then transitioning to like nothing and starting from scratch and working 14-hour days and not really seeing the return of effort initially. And I think that was a big one, although it was a bit of a big moment where I was like, What am I doing? Like I could literally just be sitting in the office, clicking emails, making some really easy money use and using my brain. So and then there was a probably another big moment when I first when I first launched my my actual official online business about three years ago, I think the first year was quite tough. Firstly, it’s always tough. You know, you’re spending a lot of money, you’re not getting much return. And everything was quite new to me. I’ve never ran an online business. So a lot of it was raw and I was making a ton of mistakes. It was costing me a lot of money and I look back now and that that was just part of the journey. I have to accept it. But back then when it was happening to me, it was kicking me in the guts, I don’t know if you know Brené Brown, she talks about this thing called FFT and the it’s basically frog frog in first time or effing first time. And what she’s talking about there is when you’re doing something for the first time, we get so in our head because I don’t know about you, but I’m like still a recovering perfectionist And lord forbid, I mean, it’s like World War Three happens if I don’t get something right. The first time. But what Briney said was, I think to remind yourself that it’s an FFT moment and likely you’re not going to get it right the first time. But it doesn’t make it easier. It just, you know, you recognize that you’re going to get through it if you push through it. Yeah, I think you may. A very similar I run perfectionism quite a lot and it’s something that I’m continually, I guess, learning of how that can serve me well in particular areas and how that can not serve me well in other areas. And where that did serve me well was launching my business. I just I kept delaying the launch date because I just wanted it to be better. Perfect. And and luckily, my business partner just said, Michael, you just got to launch the bloody thing, please, because I’m just waiting here patiently. And then. And then I learned, you know, once that once you launch it it’s one, it’s a massive relief. And two, you actually learn more by putting it out into the public and getting people’s opinions and advice. And it actually grows quicker that way. I think it instantly wipes away the fear. So yeah, I definitely understand with that. I fully understand that feeling. But I do like that. I do like that abbreviation. I think that’s a, that’s a very that’s a, that’s a very easy anchor to remind yourself when you’re in a bit of a in one of those states where you’re freaking out. Tell me, I love this concept of anchors I love metaphors, I love storytelling, I work in pictures i can’t really think in words Can you tell the audience about this anchor because I love the concept Yeah. Anchoring is just a strategy that you can use to either put yourself into a certain state of mind or take yourself out of a state of mind. So the most popular method I’m typically coaching is with athletes. So the athletes, you usually typically want to be able to control their flow state. So their A-game state. So a lot a lot of people know that description as a flow state, a flow state anyone can be in. And it’s something that typically you would assume everyone has been in a particular time, whether it’s through work or it could be in a relationship or even could be sport. But it’s that state of mind where everything is just slowed down and you’re just hyper focused. You got tunnel vision, everything else is blurred and time just flies because you are just in the zone and so that is something that I try and teach my my athletes how to harness their flow state, because that is just pure magic. It’s almost it’s always there. There’s steroid in a way to performance. And, you know, if you have watched The Last Dance, Michael Jordan’s documentary, he talks about his flow state, how we can just cross that white line and and get into a flow state with all the adversity going on behind him he can ignore it and anchoring is there’s a lot of ways of anchoring. You can be a visual anchor. It could be something that you visually look at that you use to anchor you to get you in a neuro certain state. It can be a word, as you just mentioned before Kath, you know, having that abbreviation FFT it can be auditory. So it can be a sound or a song. It can be an action. It can be an action that you have. So, like, I’ll give you some some little personal insight, but when I put myself in an unresourcable state state that I don’t like particularly, I pinch I pinch the webbing of my hand because it freaking hurts. Right? And and that reminds me that, yeah, this not only hurts, it hurts me internally as well. So stop friggin doing it. So things like that. I hope you get the picture. I love that I have a word empty. I have this word empty and I’ll tell you I can square it empty and I’ll tell you I’ll tell you a bit of background. A bit. You know, I just have severe eating disorders and body image issues, which I would love to touch on with you as well. I used to have this desire, you know, either to binge eat or to starve myself. And this word came up empty and it would literally help me empty whatever my thoughts were. And it would just it’s kind of like a fish tank. You know, you put your felt drawn into sort of cleans it out. And the reason why I say that to the audience is I think everyone already has like that word or that little signal. But we I didn’t I didn’t connect it to a flow state until right now, I swear. Yeah. That is brilliant. Brilliant. Yeah. So you get you can deal with. I also like song pepper sea and you’re the pack. I have this impatient I guess state of Mind where I’m very OCD when it comes to structuring my day. So every, every night I’ll structure my life for the next day. And then if a particular task takes longer than expected and it starts back clocking everything, I lose my mind and I start getting impatient. And I guess I start. I start talking to myself and I start getting quite agitated. And then my efficiency just goes out the window. So I use that little webbing pinch to remind me to just calm the hell down. It’s okay. It’s just it’s just one day. It’s fine. nothing’s going to blow up nothing is going to happen. Bad happens. So, yeah, that’s like my little, anchor to try and it’s a reminding me to remind myself, but hang on it I mean this state let’s get out of it. So to get out of it, I usually just play like a feel good song, or I just go and distract myself and it works. But you have to practice it. It doesn’t just happen first go. This is the thing. And I think a lot of times, you know, when we were talking about, you know, success and life would you know, I’d say that a lot of people give that because they think, shouldn’t it be easier than what it is now? I know I’ve had that mindset before as well. Like, why is it that I’m not successful when everyone else is? And shouldn’t it be easier by now? I don’t know if you’ve ever had that experience as well. Yeah, definitely. I think and I think the reason why that is heightened a lot more in today’s society is because there’s a lot more distractions. and you have social media where you, it’s so easy to to unlock your newsfeed in the morning and to see a ton of people that you follow who are generally very successful. Just having these very successful lives and you’re already seeing it from a very, very superficial level and you’re seeing it from like the first layer and you’re not seeing it from like layer five, like what they’re really going through. if there’s some advice I can give from that particular situation, I would just say like, whatever, whatever looks good visually or whatever you’re looking at that that looks amazing and it looks like the dream job or the dream life to just remember Like usually there’s a bigger sacrifice on the other end that you haven’t seen. So, you know, if you do see a successful businessman or businesswoman, just realize that, okay, yeah, she’s happy, she’s smiling. She might be in an amazing house or living in an amazing place, but there was definitely a bigger, bigger sacrifice. And you probably didn’t see that went on for five, ten, 15 years. If not more. I can’t remember who this is by, but there’s a concept known as success tax, meaning that if you want to be successful, just like we paid taxes at the end of the year, for every other level of success that you want to gain, there’s going to have to be something that you’re going to have to take because of it. Whether it’s giving up time with your partner, your family, you know, sleep as an example, money, you know, you got it. You got to you got to give to get. And I thought that was an interesting way of, you know, almost like a numerical way of saying like the books have got to balance if you’re trying to go up in the world. if you’re trying to go up in the world. Yeah. And I think just to add on to that Kath you can also get very lost in that in that framework if you don’t to find your own definition of success because then all of a sudden you can start getting lost and you can make your first million dollars and then not feel successful because I wanna hang on, I want to make another five. But then, but then I’m also like, Oh, hang on a second. Why? Why am I defining my success based on on it based on financial gain? So that was something that, that I’ve done very early on in my career was define my definition of success before I started on my journey. And that way that gave me a lot more clarity on where I went ahead and why. on where I went ahead and why. Would you be able to share what your definition is? Yeah, my definition of success is owning my own time. So having the freedom to live wherever I want, whenever I want. And that is that is literally my definition of success. It’s all about freedom and time. That is the two things that I value the most in life. Hence why I start an online business. Because I knew if I just had a laptop I could live on the beach or I could live in London, or I can live anywhere I friggin want as long as I’ve got a laptop and I can own my own time because I frankly, frankly, I decide when I want to open that laptop up. that’s my definition of success. that’s my definition of success. That’s it. And you know what? No matter how much money you have, you can’t buy more time, which I think is really sometimes we forget that. We think that when we have all the money in the world, then we can start living life. It doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. And so I love this concept of freedom in time. Yeah, I think your definition definitely has to align with that with your values in life. And so they definitely that my definition aligns with my values in life. And that’s and that’s what stuck with me and that’s what, that’s what will stick with me. And that’s literally it’s one of my main motivators as to why I want to keep working hard and keep building my business. building my business. So motivation is a big buzz word. I mean, when I say buzz word, it’s been a buzz word for, you know, probably 40 years and it’s going to be a buzz word for a long time. Can I ask you, what is your definition of motivation? I’m probably going to say having clarity and being consistent. And what I mean by that is because this is actually the number one question I get given that people send me my my inbox is Michael I’m struggling on motivation? How do I get motivated? But I think the number one thing you have to do is just break down and find clarity. So like, you’re Why so what? Why you’re doing something. So I do like to break my my why’s into intrinsic goals and extrinsic goals, intrinsic being like your deep embodiment of who you want to be as a person and extrinsic of you know, you have more of your superficial goals, whether it’s a a business goal, it could be it could be a weight goal. I want to drop ten kilos and then you and then you figure out why. Okay, so why do I want to lose ten kilos? And and then you start you start figuring out from like, an embodiment level of, okay, why this actually why this is really important to me. And then once you figure out why these things are really important to you and you’ve got clarity, there’s your motivator right there. that’s where I kind of go into it with my athletes and help them self-motivate. Because as a coach, yes, it’s easy for me to be their main motivator, but there has to be a level of self motivation for them and I guess helping them find their own clarity and find their purpose in life is is the biggest motivator you can have essentially. Hell yes, I love that. And I always say motivation doesn’t come after the action that comes before. You know, oftentimes people are sitting there. I’m just waiting, waiting to get motivated and then I’m going to go for a walk. Then I’m going to do this. That it doesn’t work that way. Wouldn’t be wonderful if all of a sudden we can just sit here and like, call down on God or whoever to just give us motivation. Doesn’t work that way. It’s sort of it’s a similar to confidence, you know, confidence doesn’t, you know, you got to build it kind of like bricks, you know, you do a little, you learn a bit, you do a little, you learn a bit. Same with motivation. You got to get into that momentum for sure. And it’s interesting that you say that What I found that helped me, being exercising for a long time. But my past why my past purpose was I just want to look really friggin hot. Right? And yet when you’re young, I get, you know, doesn’t take a lot when you’re 20. Let me give the tip to do that. And this is the first time in my life that I actually am so jonesing to get in the gym because I just frickin love it. I just love it. And I found that that like loving the process rather than the outcome has really helped me. I don’t know if you find that as well. Like if you’re so stuck on the outcome, all of a sudden, you’re just you’re either good or bad. If the outcome happens, you’re a good person. If it doesn’t, you’re a bad person. I don’t know if you can relate to that. Definitely. It’s one of the things I teach a lot of my athletes is not to focus on the results because you can’t control the results, You technically you can’t, but you can control the process, right? So you see, you want to focus on you want to focus all your energy in a way You can actually make a difference. And that’s the process, right? And generally as humans, we always do things based on intent and desire. So if you don’t have any clarity and you don’t know why you’re doing something, why would you keep doing it? That’s another reason why that’s like because because most of us, generally most of us will… We will always run excuses. That’s just what we do, right? If there’s if that clarity is not there that we don’t know what we’re doing, we’ll always run excuses. I don’t have enough time. I’m too busy, I’m tired. I’ve had a long day. There’s always excuses that will run naturally. And unless unless we have like a clear purpose. So, yeah, I spot on what you said. It’s like focus on the process, not on the outcome, especially in sport, because you can’t control the results no matter how good you are and you can’t control them. So no point worryin about it. You know what you’re saying that again, because I’m like, I don’t know. I can’t remember the name of the series, the Netflix series. Is it Drive To Survive? Am I remembering that right? Yeah. Yes. So there was an episode where and we can get to, you know, Daniel Ricardo and so forth. I remember the scene where he did not do well or I don’t know if he got like, I don’t know what the term is to get kicked off the track or whatever the case. And he was sitting on a step and he was just in a really poopy pants mood. He was saying the C word. He really loves to see where it doesn’t he? And he was just like, f this, f that, Like it was just off. He was just off. And I remember just you sitting next to him and just being really calm. So my question is, obviously we didn’t see the end of that. Like, how do you get an athlete out of that? I call it like a poopy pants mindset. Where does everything is like, nyah, like a little kid. Like nothing can go, right? Yeah, generally depends on the individual. I wouldn’t say everything like one. One particular thing works for all of them. But yeah, I think in that particular instance, I think Daniel needed his time to vent and let out his frustration and, and that’s fine. And yeah, I think what I said to him, I mean, don’t quote me, I think I said something along the lines of, you know, how do you deal with disappointment shapes who you are as a human. And it’s it’s true because, like, that where your growth comes from, right? Because it’s when you know, you’re in your darkest times or you’re your biggest disappointments, or you’re your biggest disappointments, that’s when the biggest growth comes from. So I reminded him that and I saw him processing it. And yeah, I’d like to say he took that on board. And why it’s good to be there is because obviously when you’re emotional, you don’t get you definitely don’t have clarity, right? And you did everything all thinking straight. So it’s good to have someone who is calm by your side to give you, I guess, the overall picture of what you’re missing here. And yes, of course, like he’s a competitor. He’s going to get frustrated when he doesn’t finish a race. So like, yeah, it’s going to happen. But I also have like a like a 24 hour rule. It’s like, okay, so you’ve got 24 hours to vent and be pissed off all you want. But after that, we’re looking we’re looking full steam ahead. So because like any other day, this sport it, it moves so fast, right? You can’t get caught up in your own emotions. No pun intended. Yeah, exactly. But if if you keep thinking about what happened last race, it’s going to it’s going to creep up. and it’s going to swallow you so yeah I give you 24 hours You generally doesn’t take in 24 hours to vent usually this takes him a couple of hours which is really good. And then we start talking about how he can improve and thinking about the next race. It’s interesting because, you know, this is a, I want to say multimillion, but I think it’s more of a multibillion dollar industry. I could be wrong, but I’m just looking at those cars and I’m looking up at the prices like I’m scratching my rims and I know I don’t even go there, girlfriend. I don’t even want to talk about it. Like how much those are. So when I see those cars going in the wall, I’m like, it’s just like money, money, money. So it’s not only that, but if you’re in that mindset is not even about the car. It’s about you. It’s literally a split second between whether you’re alive or dead, right? Yeah, exactly. So it is a dangerous sport for sure. And, you know, there have been very scary moments that I’ve that I’ve seen. And it’s part of the sport, unfortunately. But, you know, the safety of the sport is definitely improving year by year. But I think the biggest frustration with Formula One is exaclty what we touched on is not being able to control the uncontrollables. And I think that is a big, big, big topic that I that I would like to talk a lot about with my athletes is because and in that you can’t control someone hints at you you can’t control if you get a puncture and you also can’t control the engine fails. Right. And what happens there is like, you know, you’ve tried so hard, you know, you’ve sometimes you’ve flown over 17 hours in a flight. You prepared for this one race, and then lap one someone hits your tire and your race is over. And yeah, that’s going to build frustration, right? Because you can’t control it, but you want to. And that is a big, big hate of mine obviously I don’t I definitely like tell my athletes that they they get to snap out of because you trying to control something that you can’t control is similar to the definition of like having anxiety you know cause you’re just going to be you just be forever anxious. You’ll be, you know, forever depressed because you’re just trying to control something you can’t control, drive you crazy. Okay. I remember there was a great Canadian psychiatrist and he said something to the effect of, I paraphrase here, you can never win an argument with someone who’s depressed, meaning that the person who is depressed is so in their head thinking, I need to control this and this is the only thing that I can think of, and this is the only way I can look at it that you can’t get them out of that mindset. And it’s a similar sort of thing. Sometimes we have to go through life, not controlling the controlables. And perhaps one of the questions I would love to ask you is obviously you deal with the world’s top athletes. They have to be in top health all the time. But what do you do if someone you know what of your clients athlete cannot control their health? Perhaps they have I have severe IBS or some days that I wake up and literally I just want to cry. There’s some days that I just Vlado has to just hug me and I ball uncontrollably because I’m forced to not doing what I want to do. Do you ever have that? And what do you do about it? Yeah, I mean, I’ll be honest with my athletes. No, I mean, there’s definitely times where they. They struggle with direction, and that’s when I come in. But, with some of my own, like online clients definitely have a similar issue. And a lot of it is around self-confidence and being a little bit lost in life and not actually understanding and not actually understanding the direction and not understanding why they’ve come to me. Like Michael, I want to drop 20 kilos and it’s like, okay, but why? It’s a while because I’m overweight. I was like, Yeah, okay, that’s, that’s the superficial level, right? Let’s, let’s go a little bit deeper. Like, why do you want to lose weight? Oh, because I don’t like the way I look. Okay. Why don’t you like the way I look? Oh, when my back starts to hurt and I can’t do particular things with with my kids, and I’m like, okay, cool. Now we’re starting to get a little bit deeper now, right? We’re not just sitting up here because if it’s sitting up here, it’s not a good enough reason to get out of bed in the morning and do Michael’s program. You just you come up with an excuse. So, yeah, I like to I like to break down their goals and like I said Because generally someone will always come to you with extrinsic goals, always. I want to look good. Like you said, you know, you want to look hot when you’re young. But why? Why did you want to look hot when you’re young? there’s definitely a deeper, deeper reason down here. Why you wanted to look hot when you’re young, right? So usually I like to break down the extrinsic goals and and understand intrinsically why. And then that’s when I connect. They kind of have that all Yeah. Moment. And then it’s like, okay, then it everything kind of just settles down because then I’m they’re not on this confused state anymore and things aren’t as jumbled up as there’s a bit of direction there. And then, yeah, I just guide them. Essentially they have to do the hard work, but if you show them the right way, it’s a hell of a lot less daunting. It is, you know, no matter no matter what we go through, I think we go through life thinking that we can somehow get away from experiencing discomfort and pain. And the more we realize that the way to success is actually through pain, not around it is kind of what I’m hearing you say. And when you said about, the actual goal of why I wanted to look hot, it’s because I felt totally unloved and I needed external validation. That was the only reason it wasn’t even. Yes, it was great. I’ll tell you this. I have memories. I remember being in this bar and I was walking down these stairs and I remember people looking at me and like it was like, you know, one of those double looks and like the more than 3 seconds stare. So I was like, This is significant. the problem with that is every time I would go to a bar, if I wouldn’t get that, I would be absolutely devastated because what’s wrong with me? So basically, if someone pays attention to me, I’m a good person. If people don’t pay attention to me because let’s be honest, that’s most of the time because people have their own shit that they’re dealing with or some bad person. It’s the dependencies that is the problem. Yeah. And that example, I mean, thank you for sharing that. And because, because part of that right, is it’s super hard to admit it as a person. Like if to actually go that deep within yourself and actually admit that and figure that out is freaking hard. Like sometimes it takes three or four sessions for me to actually get that out of a person because their ego is just hiding it. It’s like a wall. I don’t want to go there, right, Because it just hurts, right? So that that’s the first point. And and the second point, you just literally raised what we’re talking about is on a control that controllables you’re trying to control someone else’s emotions, someone else’s actions. Right. Why are they not looking at me? Right. And that’s going to drive you insane because you can’t control what they’re thinking. You got control, what they’re going to say or how they and how they look at you. You can’t do it. Simply impossible. So that would have driven you insane, I assume? If you look up the definition of stage five clinically, you’re going to see my face like crystal clear my face, full portrait, like I was psychotic. Psychotic, like we’re talking like, rumination, this and that. And, you know, you really you diminish your self-worth on your own. Like, I wasn’t even allowing other people to diminish my self-worth. And we live in a world that does that. I didn’t even worry about that. I just crushed my own self-worth. And that’s why I love… when I look through your program, when I met you, this is the one thing I wish people would just take a second to understand. There’s a very few people like you, Michael. And listen, I’m a few years older than you. I’ve been around the kitten caboodle for a while. I’ve seen programs and what I look at your program, that’s what I love about it. I really, truly meant what I meant about the orchestra. You know, you can’t just think of a couple instruments, and I really love the fact that you really focus on mindset, because if you don’t have control of your mind, you can’t do shit in life. And I would love for you if you’ve ever had experiences, because a lot of my is women in regards to working with people with body image issues or disordered eating and how you tackle that, because that is sensitive, sensitive stuff. Yeah. And that has come from experience and how I’ve, I guess developed my online platform is to making people understand that it starts with the it starts with the mind. And it does start with actually understanding yourself before we actually want to go ahead and better yourself. And so, so what I like to focus I like to focus on, like your lifestyle habits and stuff that you can sustain long term. And the reason for that is because I don’t like to I’m definitely not the person in the fitness industry that likes to bag other other people, but I just see too many influencers with fast fixes and quick quick ways to burn fat. And you know, it probably works. But like you said, it’s quick it’s quick and easy. and then it teaches you nothing, right? And it it also means you’re probably just yo yo back to to square one in either a year or five years if you’re lucky to hold it that long. I definitely like to one break, break down. I guess my clients like what they’re thinking, break down what they’re thinking, how they’re feeling, and make them understand, okay, this is who I am. And it’s okay to throw the ego away. And then I like to teach them, like lifestyle, long term lifestyle habits. Keeping it simple, it literally is that simple. It doesn’t have to be difficult. And yeah, it is. And you don’t need a fad diet or anything like that. So yeah, I like to keep it simple and I like to know that when my clients part ways with me and I’m very I have a clear mind knowing that I’ve taught them enough that they can go away on their own and just thrive. And that’s honestly for me that’s the priceless the priceless tag as a coach that’s what that’s what drew me initially when I was in my twenties to just go ahead and become a coach. Isn’t it interesting that your concept of success is time and freedom and really that’s what you want for your clients? You want to give them more time out of life rather than worrying about things in more freedom. Not only in regards to going on vacation. What I’m talking about is freedom of having control of your mind. See, you can experience happiness the way you want to. That’s sort of what I’m hearing here. Yeah, I’ve actually never looked at it that way, but it makes sense, right? You’re generally always going to to lean towards more of your your personal values when it when it comes to actually giving advice. That’s just the nature of the beast. So, yeah, I’ve never thought of it that way. And I probably agree. And would you say I mean, what I’m hearing a lot too, is that people come to you with self-doubt, which is sort of what kicked off this entire conversation, and that even you, the wise Buddha, sometimes have self-doubt and your clients. Do you find that that helps? I mean, I always find that when I’m speaking to people that they’re like, Oh my God, you’ve gone through that too. And all of a sudden it breaks down barriers. Do you find that as well when your clients come to you and like, Oh my God, we wouldn’t we wouldn’t ever expect that of you? Yeah, I think you’re naturally going to connect with someone on a deeper level, more naturally when you have experience. I think maybe experienced and anyone because you understand it a lot more. Right? So yeah, definitely. You know, and I’m not I’m not afraid to share my own experiences with them too, to make them understand. Okay, He’s not just, he’s not just saying he understands. He’s actually been through it. And I think that’s something that all of a sudden when you have that and you’ve gone through something, when you’ve experienced something in life the same as someone else, you automatically have that mutual respect and you automatically probably want to listen a lot more as well, because that’s something generally we’re all poor listeners in life there’s so many distractions. So we’re never actually, So we’re never actually, you know, in the moment. That’s right We’re hearing things but we’re not listening. And that’s sort of the point of this podcast is exactly what you’re saying. All of a sudden when you hear that someone else has gone through what you’re going through, all of a sudden the smoke and mirrors dissipate and you realize that you’re not alone. So in regards I just want to finish off with the program because I really mean it from the bottom of my heart, where I think that this is a valuable thing for people to look into. You know, someone’s going to say, Well, I’ve seen these programs before, yada, yada, yada. You know, why would I why would I go to your website and look into it like, been there, done that, sister. Yeah, look, I have I have an online coaching platform where people can sign up depending on the level of coaching they want. But essentially people can sign up, They can have a you know, they get set up on my, my web app. And then, we can chat through the messenger on my Web app. And then I essentially provide them with personalized programing and personalized nutrition plans based on a very thorough questionnaire that I send out initially. And then once that question has filled out, I go through and do the magic. But yeah, it’s one of those things where as a coach, I think a lot unless you know the industry people probably don’t realize like programing is an art and actually a programing for people and actually personalization it is, it’s a frickin art and understanding that is something that only only the really good coaches understand. And that’s why I have a whole bunch of mentors that I follow on social media, whatnot, that that actually understand that. And that’s kind of what I touched on before, where it’s very easily as an influencer to look amazing and just to stick out some some some cheat programs. But just what because it works for her or him doesn’t mean it’s going to work for everyone else. So, yeah, I do put a lot of time into my clients and, and that’s, I guess the reason for is because actually I do want to see some growth. And it’s not just it’s not just to make you know, just to make the intrinsic goals happen is to actually see them grow is as a person and it’s it’s friggin awesome. It’s awesome. I’ve had some pretty cool success stories to date and that’s why I do what I do. I love it. I mean, gosh, you can hear the passion in your voice and that is, I think, what makes it so different. I think, you know, if you were to win the lottery. I think you would still do this and probably do it for free, because it sounds to me that this is your purpose and passion 100% really, to what I said is, yeah, you can tell, you can tell and you can’t bullshit that kind of stuff. You just can’t. My bullshit meter is excellent. I know that’s one thing that I’m very grateful for is when I transitioned to follow my passion every day are waking up I have I don’t I don’t get the you know, the slump of oh need to go to work. I’m always excited every day to do what I do And you know, that’s tough to find. one it’s tough to find a passion and two its tough to actually make a career out of your passion. So that is something I’m always definitely, forever grateful for. Great. Well, we’re going to put all like your deets or as I call it, the 411, which is Canadian saying in the show notes. But to so people know what’s the best way for people to get a hold of you. Yeah, I think the best way to start is going to be my website. So my website being www.michaelitaliano.com and also my social media, my, my Instagram is and probably the most we’re I most active. So just @michaelitaliano and everything probably just links from there. So yeah, that’s probably probably the best to with to social channels. Brilliant. Well I got to tell the listeners, you have the most magnetic smile. so even if you don’t do the program, just check out the smile and it will make your day. Let me give you the tip. So we’re going to So we’re going to we’re going to end with a speed round. Are you ready. Alright. Hit me let’s do it! Number one. If you were on death row, what would be your final meal? Pizza. Nice. What kind of pizza? Okay, I’m putting chorizo And probably like, three different types of cheese on that, on that bad boy. And that’s all me. Nice. Nice. All right. What is the best advice you have ever received Probably I’m going to say like where you focus your energy kind of like determines like the direction of your life. And that was something that kind of stuck with me when someone told me that. And for me it resonated really well. I was like, It’s so true. Like, wait, soon as you put your energy in the right places and and your life will go in the direction you want to go in. Love that. All right. What is the worst advice you’ve ever heard? Go to university and get a degree Tell me. Oh, my God. No, there’s more to it. And the reason for that is because, like, when you’re 17, you know, all of a sudden, you know, the school curriculum, they tell you that you’re supposed to have everything figured out. You’re supposed to know what you want to do, university and study and I felt this ton of pressure because I had no idea what I wanted to do. So I kind of just created like this this false sense of anxiety for no freaking reason, because at the end of the day like I look back now and I’m like, No, it’s actually okay not to not to have things figured out, you know, and not know where you want to be. And, you know, this this part of my life now where I’m 32 and I still don’t have things figured out, and that’s okay. So, yeah, that’s probably the worst advice. I reckon and you don’t need to go to university straight away. I started my first when I was 27, so, you know, it’s yeah, I’ll leave it at that. But I was 23, no I was 23 and then I went back to school probably about ten years, no How old am I? I keep on thinking that I’m 25 still. I don’t know what that is probably a good thing, but I went back to do my post-grad when I wanted to not because I had to. And I think that’s important. there’s a big difference between having to do something for someone else and wanting to do it for yourself. So. All right, Number four, if you could go back in time and do one thing differently, if you would do it, what would it be? The one thing I would do differently would be on my 21st birthday, my best mate bought me a skydiving ticket because he knew I was afraid of heights. And on that particular day that I booked it, I backed out and didn’t go. And we lost his I lost his money and he was very upset about that. So if I could go back in time, I’d jump out of that freaking plane. Nice Nice. I’m sorry. I can’t do it. I can’t do it. No way. But maybe one day. But you have a great time. All right. Finally, what is your favorite quote and why. No one owes you anything and the reason why. Booyah chaka! Yeah. And that that’s I’ve literally got that written on my forearm and it’s written everywhere. And the reason for that, I guess you can kind of get you can kind of build up a sense of entitlement. Naturally. It could be anything, whether it’s with your family, friends, partner, your colleagues, you have a sense of entitlement that, you know, people should, you know, do certain things for you or even just say hello to you in the mornings. Right. And then it ruins your day because it’s like, oh, this person didn’t say hello to me and then all of a sudden you’re in a bad mood. But I walked into this room in a great mood. So I use that quote to kind of just make me understand that literally, like, don’t expect anything and don’t be entitled to anything, like work hard for yourself and everything else that comes on top of that is a bonus. So if I go for a walk in the morning and I say good morning to someone and they didn’t say good morning back, it’s like, well, you know what? They don’t owe me that. So I’m not going to let that ruin my day. But if I get a good morning back, then it’s a bonus. I use that as as a simplified method just to make sure that I don’t I don’t build any natural self entitlement for anything or assume anything essentially. I love that because I’m devastated because I’m that Canadian. Like, you know, the Forrest Gump, like, hey, good morning. And if someone doesn’t do that back, I’m like, Did I say something wrong? are Canadians going to be, like, embarrassed about me? I was the same. Horrible. Horrible. Michael I swear I could talk to you for another 10 hours. And I think we would still just scratch the surface. Listeners, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to listen to this over and over again. Tips like the anchor, I think was probably my favorite. I can visualize it. I now know that my trigger word, which is empty, is now an anchor. It is now boostin that method so much more. I am for you just hit up Michael even just follow him on Instagram. I’m learning stuff like I’m 45 I’ve been in this industry for a while. I’m still learning stuff through Michael. It has just been a pleasure. If you have loved this episode as much as I have, you know, and Chris Hemsworth is your best friend, please share with him. If it’s not Chris Hemsworth, you can still share with the people if you want to rate it five stars. If you don’t want to write a five stars any less, don’t rate it. You know, you know the whole system here. But like I would say, guys, never forget that every day is your chance to shine and let this day be that day to shine. Thanks so much, Michael, and to everyone. It’s been a pleasure. You’re welcome. pleasure talking to you. Love it! Love it! Thanks! There’s no other way to say it. Michael Italiano get this