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If you listen to motivational podcasts and read all the right books, but you’re still craving a way to learn more about yourself - today’s newsletter will be more eye-opening than looking at a shirtless Chris Hemsworth glistening in the sunshine.
3 Reasons to Read This Article
- It’s a Mental Tune-Up
Think of it as taking your mind for a “routine check-up.” Open-ended questions help you uncover the beliefs or assumptions you might not realise are influencing your life. They’re the kind of questions that prompt self-awareness and open up mental doors you didn’t know existed. - It Gives You Control Over Your Growth
Instead of being told what to do or how to think, these questions let you guide the answers. You become the problem-solver, which helps build self-trust and resilience over time. - It’s the Mental Flexibility Workout You Didn’t Know You Needed
Open-ended questions aren’t just about problem-solving—they're about stretching your mental capacity to consider new perspectives and possibilities. It's like taking your brain to the gym and getting it used to the habit of thinking expansively rather than reflexively.
P.S. Expand your mind, one day at a time. You can download a copy of the 30 questions for free - link at the bottom of the article (direct download, no email required).
Short on time? I’ve got you!
Let me read you the article instead! ⬇️
Introduction
In my early keynote speaking years I was told ‘you need a call to action’ - ‘you need to tell people exactly what to do’.
I tried that - but it sat as comfortably as a shot of tequila followed by a glass of heavy cream. It felt forced and icky.
Because I don’t speak about objective skills like marketing or selling. I can’t tell you ‘press this button or enter this SEO ranked keyword and your life will change’.
I speak on self-respect - and I would bet my shoe collection you already know what you need to build more of it.
I think what’s more important to spend our time on is asking WHY we don’t choose the actions and behaviours that we know will build our self-respect.
- Why do we choose to stay silent when someone has pushed our boundaries?
- Why do we wait for the right time to ask for a raise?
- Why do we allow what we think people think of us to stop us being our weird and wacky selves?
Which is why I ask questions, rather than giving answers in my keynotes - so you can ‘chew’ on the question over time (like in the shower or on a dog walk). Because time is key here - finding the great answers which will improve our life don’t happen in an instant.
3 Reasons Why Open-Ended Questions Work Like a Charm
1. Encouraging Shower Conversations with Yourself
Ok, maybe not just in the shower. But the primary reason is that open-ended questions nudge people into deep thinking rather than reacting. When we’re asked open-ended questions, we get out of autopilot and start processing our broader thoughts and feelings.
2. Fostering Personal Responsibility
Open-ended questions put the person answering in the driver’s seat. I’ll give you an example: if I ask you, “Are you happy with your day-to-day life?” your mind will likely go to a likert-type answer - yes, no, maybe, or even as a percentage. But if I were to ask you “If you could wave a magic wand, what would you like to change about your day-to-day life?” - your world opens up to new, limitless possibilities and you’re more likely to take responsibility for your answer and maybe even your actions. The best part? You get to identify the problem and the solution, which is empowering and way more effective than someone else handing it to you.
3. Helping Identify Unconscious Biases
Let’s say you really don’t like a person at work. They bug the $hit out of you. Perhaps your mind defaults to “they’re annoying” or “they’re rude”. But what if you were to ask yourself “What’s one thing you wish were different about your relationship with [name of person]?” Open-ended questions can also help uncover assumptions or biases that may go unnoticed - and nudge you to find out what might be influencing your decision on how you feel about them.
Your 30 days of Challenging Questions to Fuel your Growth
This is about understanding your mind so you can achieve more, faster, one question at a time. My suggestion is each day, read ONE question only and reflect on it - ‘chew’ on it during the day.
*Disclaimer: A quick note before we dive in - the questions provided are intended for self-reflection and personal development purposes only. They are not a substitute for professional advice, therapy, or counselling. By using these questions, you acknowledge that any actions or changes you make as a result are your responsibility.
- What is a dream goal you want to achieve that you’ve never shared with anyone? And why haven’t you shared it?
- What is the most significant risk you’ve ever taken, and what did you learn from the outcome?
- What motivates you to break away from your unhelpful thought or behaviour patterns?
- When was the last time you did something selfish - and was it a ‘bad’ or a ‘good’ thing?
- How does it feel to be you right now?
- What is your most impactful memory and how does it affect you today?
- Who are you angry at and why?
- What is a childhood memory that shaped your beliefs about worthiness and love that affects your behaviour today?
- What limiting belief about yourself do you need to release to move forward?
- When was the last time you truly felt at peace, and what were you doing?
- What do you avoid doing because you fear failure, and how ca=n you face that fear?
- What parts of your identity do you feel you have to hide from others?
- What past mistake do you keep punishing yourself for, and how can you forgive yourself?
- What would your life look like if you pursued your passions without any limitations?
- What emotional baggage are you carrying that no longer serves you?
- What relationships in your life drain your energy, and why do you hold onto them?
- What is a decision you regret, and what did you learn from it?
- How do you self sabotage, and what triggers this behaviour?
- What dream did you have as a child that you’ve given up on, and why?
- How do you define success, and is it truly your own definition or someone else’s?
- What unspoken words or unresolved conflicts haunt you, and how can you address them?
- What would you do differently if you knew no one would judge you?
- How does fear of the unknown hold you back from making bold choices?
- What habits do you need to change to become the person you aspire to be?
- What emotions do you suppress, and what would happen if you expressed them?
- How do you deal with criticism? And what does that say about you?
- What legacy do you want to leave behind, and are your actions aligning with that vision?
- What is one thing you wish people knew about you, but you are afraid to share?
- What would you tell your younger self so they wouldn’t grow up being a people pleaser?
- What fear do you need to get over to start taking action so you can accomplish your dream goals?
Concluding Thoughts
It is rarely a lack of want or desire to improve ourselves personally, it’s simply that our ego gets in the way to try and protect us from seeing the truth. So rather than looking at the questions and immediately going into a mindset of ‘this is BS’ or feeling frustrated or angry, instead ask yourself ‘what rewards would I get from working on these areas?’ - and see what kind of shift that provides you.
Because self-respect is a practice, not a destination, and I find that the most efficient path to growth is found in the questions we’re willing to ask ourselves.
If you’d like to download these to print out for your fridge, your desk or in the lunchroom of your workplace, you can do so here. No email needed - it’s a direct download.
