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I moved to Perth, Western Australia in July of 2008. I was meant to stay three years. I stayed 17. Here’s why I left, the signs and symptoms of needing change to grow, and how to know when it’s time to respect the next season of your life, too.
After finishing my master’s degree, I swore I’d never do school again. Academia, especially for a high-achieving perfectionist, can make you feel like an idiot daily (no polite way to say it).
At the time, aka in my party girl era, I was surrounded by stockbrokers and hedge fund managers. I saw the lifestyle, and I wanted that financial freedom (and ego) for myself.
“I want to make money,” I said. “Lots of money.”
So I got a job as an executive assistant at a growing timeshare real estate company, hoping to learn sales and move into a ‘mo money’ situation.
My life, at least on the surface, looked fine. Underneath?
I was painfully lonely, secretly battling a debilitating eating disorder. Most days at work, I’d just secretly binge at my desk, then again when I got home.
Surprise surprise: that job didn’t last long.
So, I went back to what I knew, academia. The lesser of two evils. I received a scholarship to do my PhD halfway across the world in Australia, and just like that, I ran away from a life that felt too hard.
Emphasis: I ran away.
During my PhD, I started a blog that became my first business: Deliciously Fitt, food, fitness, mindset. That business morphed and changed for many reasons (a story for another day).
I met my partner too, 14 years and counting, so that ‘three years’ turned into seventeen.
I won’t sugarcoat it and say those years were easy, because they weren’t. I missed home (Canada) and my family. I missed the noise and the chaos of the big cities I knew well (Toronto and New York).
Mostly, I missed the head-spinning pace, the hustle, the go-go-go.
But there was a reason I needed to stay in Perth. Because sometimes life plants you somewhere quiet so you can learn lessons you didn’t even know you needed.
- Like how to sit still long enough to hear yourself think… and understand who you truly are, not who you think people want you to be.
- Like how real, unconditional friendships grow when there’s nowhere else to run. The people I call my fart friends, who see you at your worst and stick around to get you back to your best.
- Like how there are some people who, no matter how many times you professionally stumble or reinvent yourself, will support you anyway. And if you, my dear gentle reader, are reading this, you’re probably one of them.
Perth gave me roots when I needed them most. A safe place to build ideas, test my courage (and patience), and yes, fail spectacularly. And without that time and experience, I wouldn't have the mindset I have today (which still ain't perfect, but it's far less crazy than it was before.)
And then, it happened. I bumped into a friend I hadn’t seen in years.
“I can’t believe you’re still here. You’re too big for Perth,” she said.
I laughed. “What do you mean?”
She paused, choosing her words carefully, no one wants to knock the city that gave us so much.
“I just mean… you’ve got more to say than Perth can hold. You should be on TV, hosting In Her Shoes, doing what you do for the world, not just this corner of it.”
If egos could puff up and smile, mine did.
I’d always dreamed of having a show. One of my proudest Perth moments was creating In Her Shoes, a docuseries where I interviewed amazing women… while we shoe-shopped.
So hearing her say this was pure validation. And sometimes, you just need someone to say out loud what you’re too shy to want for yourself.
This situation happened over and over again. And I always say: if things happen in threes, pay attention. (Like if 3 people recommend a book, it’s the world telling you: drop everything and read it).
My gut was saying Dubai.
People were saying Dubai.
My dreams were in Dubai.
It was time.
Perth gave me my roots. Dubai is where I’ll find my wings.
But unlike last time, when I moved across the world to run away from my problems, this time, I’m running toward the unknown.
And I’ve never been happier. Because I can honestly say, hand on heart, I moved not to discover who I am, but to become who I know I can be.
The host of In Her Shoes.
There. I said it. It's out in the world.
And perhaps, while this story might not be yours, the underlying message is.
That feeling you’ve outgrown the old version of yourself.
That hunch that your roots are strong enough now to trust your wings.
So here are the lessons I’ve learned, along with the signs and symptoms of needing change to grow, and how to know when it’s time to respect the next season of your life, too.
- You’re constantly daydreaming about ‘next year’.
- You feel restless, and things bug you that shouldn’t.
- You’re not only ready for a challenge, but crave it.
- You keep hearing the same thing: “There’s more for you out there. You’re ready for more.”
- You feel a pang of jealousy when someone else makes a bold move (not because you’re an a-hole, but because deep down you want that too.
- You start imagining what could go right instead of what might go wrong.
- You catch yourself complaining more than celebrating.
- You start sentences with “One day I’ll…” more than you’d like to admit.
- You find yourself stalking people online who did the thing you keep postponing.
- You know, deep down, that you’re playing it safe and time is ticking.
- You feel uncomfortable in your own comfort zone.
Here’s what it comes down to:
You’ve done the work. You’ve grown.
You’re older and wiser.
Sure you have chin hairs to deal with, but there’s always IPL for that.
You know roots matter, and the roots you’ve grown will always keep you grounded.
But my dear gentle reader, your wings need to fly.
And there will never be a perfect time to test how far they can carry you than right now.
Until next time,
Be bold, be brave, and as always, stay fabulous.
DrK xoxo
