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Quick Overview:
If you’ve ever struggled with setting boundaries, seeking validation, or putting yourself last, I think you'll relate to today’s Lessons ‘n’ Laughs article—where I share five lessons that helped me build self-respect.
3 Reasons This Article Might Be for You
- You struggle with saying no and worry about how others will perceive you.
- You find yourself seeking validation from external sources rather than within.
- You want to build self-respect but aren’t sure where to start.
On the outside, you have it all together—an impressive career, a strong work ethic, and the ability to handle anything thrown your way. But on the inside? You’re exhausted from people-pleasing, constantly seeking validation, and putting everyone else’s needs before your own.
You tell yourself that being accommodating makes you a great leader, that pushing through burnout is just part of success.
Things are ‘fine’, but fine doesn’t feel like enough anymore. Deep down, you know something isn’t right.
The truth? Success without self-respect is a fragile victory.
If you’re tired of bending over backward for approval and second-guessing yourself at every turn, I hope these five lessons will help you reclaim your confidence and set boundaries without guilt.
#1 Boundaries
I used to do a lot of free work because I catastrophized that saying no would lead to people badmouthing me, and somehow, I’d be blacklisted from every opportunity forever.
Self-respect is understanding that saying “no” is not the same as saying “F you,” even though it might feel that way. You can say no and still be kind. Now, I simply say, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I’ll need to politely decline.”
#2 Self-Care
About five years ago, I was on medication that made me extremely tired. Despite sleeping 10 hours at night, I could barely keep my eyes open during the day.
I felt like leaving the office to nap would make people whisper, “Wow, she’s so lazy.” So instead, I always made up an excuse: “I need to run an errand.” But the truth is, I was the only one judging myself. Now, if I need a nappa, I take a nappa—no excuses needed.
#3 Shame
We all have parts of our past we’re not proud of—staying in a degrading relationship, staying too long in a dead-end job. I’ve been there more than once. And we look back and think, How could I have been so stupid?
Self-respect helps you realize that you didn’t know then what you know now. Instead of shaming yourself, use it as a lesson. Let go of the past and focus on the full, vibrant life ahead of you.
#4 Self-Acceptance
We’re taught that self-love means adoring every part of ourselves. But self-respect means acknowledging that while we may not love every aspect of who we are, we can still respect ourselves.
#5 Validation
There will always be people who want to bring you down. And sometimes, even the absence of feedback—like a post getting no comments—can feel like rejection.
Self-respect helps you process criticism objectively, especially when it stings. Ask yourself: Am I upset because I secretly believe what they’re saying is true? Or is it simply because I’m human and have feelings? Either way, self-respect reminds you that external opinions don’t define your worth.
Final thoughts
Self-respect isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. It’s about setting boundaries, taking care of yourself without guilt, learning from your past instead of punishing yourself for it, accepting yourself as you are, and not letting external validation dictate your worth.
The more you practice self-respect, the stronger and more unshakable you become. And you deserve that strength.
Until next time,
Back yourself,
Bet on yourself and
Be Respected.
DrK x
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