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Should You Read This Article?
Do you find yourself tweaking and retweaking every detail of a project while thinking, "It's still not quite right"?
Does the thought of someone saying "this could be better" make you want to lock yourself in a white padded room?
Or maybe you’ve been told being a perfectionist is a ‘bad thing’, but deep down, you wonder if it’s your secret weapon?
Well, my fellow perfectionist, you’re in the right place. Read on, because this article will help you understand the nuances of perfectionism, why it’s not all bad, and how you can harness it to your advantage—without driving yourself (or others) crazy.
Short on time? I’ve got you!
Let me read you the article instead! ⬇️
Introduction
“You’re such a perfectionist!”
“I am, thank you. That’s very kind of you” I would say.
Being a perfectionist has a bad rap. And sure, this character type does have many downsides, but is being one really all bad?
It’s often called “The Favoured Flaw” - because it can lead to some stellar outcomes.
For example the director Stanley Kubrick was known for his obsession with every detail of his films, from the lighting to the dialogue to the camera angles. He would make actors to do numerous takes—sometimes over a hundred—to capture the "perfect" shot.
For example in his ‘pièce de résistance’ The Shining, there was a famous axe scene in which actor Jack Nicholson was trying to break through a door to get to the protagonist, Shelley Duvall. They did 127 takes before Kubrick was satisfied. Nicholson later shared that the scene took three days to film, and they had to use a different axe for each take as the axes kept breaking. But I would argue, this ‘perfectionism’ resulted in one of the greatest movies of all time.
Another example is Leonardo Da Vinci who spent years studying a process before he started a painting and would meticulously plan every detail. He was notorious for leaving projects unfinished because he felt they were not ‘perfect enough’. For example, his painting "The Adoration of the May-ji" remained incomplete for years, as he was dissatisfied with the result and constantly made changes. But what would the art world be without his imperfectly perfect art?
https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/folders/1gRsoLsNAgKIn3EAMRSl_4b6rsljYNUry
And heck - at the end of the day - if I ever had to have brain surgery (knock wood), I would search far and wide for a perfectionistic doctor.
Which begs the question? Is being a perfectionist all that bad?
Which one are you? The Five Types of Perfectionists
Perfectionism has been studied far and wide, and I don’t claim to be an expert in any way… other than having been one (yep, I’m number 5).
Here are a few types of perfectionism that my brain has experienced - along with both the negatives and the positives, and my favourite, an open ended question to guide you into some deep self-reflection.
1. The Apple Polishing Perfectionist
“It’s never quite ready.”
Negative - This can result in ‘failure to launch’. For example, working on an online course that you want to sell but continuously find ‘areas for improvement’ that hold you back from going live.
Positive - Looking at areas of improvement as a way to learn. Even if you do launch said online course, the beauty is that there ARE things that you can improve.
Question: What are you holding off doing because the apple isn’t shiny enough yet?
2. The Comparison Perfectionist
“Theirs is better than mine.”
Negative – This mindset can lead to feeling inferior and stuck in a loop of self-doubt, preventing action. By constantly comparing your work to others, you overlook your unique strengths and ideas. For example, you may delay launching a blog because someone else’s blog seems more polished or successful.
Positive– Comparison can inspire new ideas and innovation—if you approach it healthily. Instead of feeling inferior, you could study others' successes and adapt strategies that work for you without copying or losing your voice.
Question: How has comparing yourself to others kept you from launching yourself into new challenges?
3. The Inner Bully Perfectionist
“You’ll never get it right.”
Negative– This form of perfectionism is harsh and relentless. It doesn't leave room for self-compassion and crushes creativity. You may find yourself constantly self-criticising, which paralyses progress and diminishes confidence. For example, you may redo a project over and over, never allowing yourself to feel satisfied with the result.
Positive– There aren’t any. Being your own harshest critic never leads to sustainable success; it only burns you out. However, a touch of objective self-criticism—focusing on what you're doing rather than who you are—can be helpful. By separating your actions from your identity, you can evaluate your work constructively without tearing down your self-worth, which is key to maintaining long-term growth and resilience.
Question: How can you objectively evaluate your work without letting it define your worth?
4. The Validation-Seeking Perfectionist
"If they approve of me, I approve of me."
Negative– Constantly seeking external validation to feel confident is draining and unreliable. You become dependent on others’ praise to gauge your success, which can create anxiety and hinder your ability to trust your own decisions. For instance, you might hesitate to publish your book until you get good feedback from others.
Positive– But feedback can be useful. The key is to gather input without letting it override your judgement. You do you do boo.
Question: How often do you hold off on something great because you're waiting for someone else to give you the green light?
5. The Recovering Perfectionist
This is me now!
I’m here —working to break free from the relentless grip of perfectionism. The truth is, perfectionism may have helped me achieve great things in the past, but it also came at a cost: exhaustion, overthinking, and a constant fear of falling short.
These days, I’m learning that "good enough" is often more than enough. Recovery is not focusing on the what ifs, but rather focusing on the what’s next instead - giving myself grace to make mistakes, learn from them, and keep moving forward.
Here are five actions I’ve taken to speed up my recovery:
- Stop re-reading and re-writing emails 300 times before sending them, especially if they aren't critical. One read-through is enough for most.
- Make decisions without obsessing about making the "perfect" one. If it’s not right, I’ll make it right later.
- Allow myself to move forward with projects that feel mostly ready—knowing I can refine them over time rather than holding back endlessly.
- The ‘yet’ mindset: You know that horribly yucky feeling where you think “this is never going to get easier”? I remind myself that it simply means I’m getting closer to the end, but I’m just not there yet.
Limit feedback loops: While I still value input, I no longer delay my actions waiting for everyone’s approval.
Concluding Thoughts
Perfectionism, in its many forms, can feel like both a gift and a curse. Whether it's holding off because something isn’t ‘ready,’ seeking validation from others, or bullying yourself into endless revisions, the pursuit of perfection often leads to more stress than success. But the truth is, mistakes shape you, they don’t make you.
The journey to overcoming perfectionism is about embracing the fact that we all screw up and recognising that if you’re not falling down often, you’re just coasting.
So, ask yourself—where can you let go of perfect to let in a little more progress?
