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Why We Don’t Value Our Knowledge
After a dinner party where everyone ate way too much, someone casually mentioned, “I always get so tired after I eat, I wonder why?”
At the time, I was knee-deep in my PhD research on diabetes, focusing on how technology could help people with Type 1 diabetes monitor their blood sugar levels. This question was right in my wheelhouse, so I chimed in:
“We ate a lot of carbohydrates, which are broken down into glucose—a simple sugar that enters the bloodstream. The body doesn’t like things being out of balance, so to prevent blood sugar levels from rising too high, it releases a hormone called insulin from the pancreas. Insulin acts like a key, unlocking little doors on the cell surface so glucose can enter. When the insulin key goes into the lock, little transporters called GLUT4 move to the cell surface, helping glucose get inside for immediate use or storage. The problem is, if a large amount of glucose is stored quickly, this can cause a sudden drop in blood sugar levels, which may make you feel tired.”
Cue the blank stares and “WTF” expressions.
It’s incredibly easy (and common) to underestimate the value of what we know. Knowledge, like ageing, happens gradually, not instantaneously.
You don’t wake up one day and suddenly know a lot—it accumulates over time. At that point, I had spent six years immersed in diabetes research and just assumed everyone knew about GLUT4 transporters and beta cells.
This is a message I emphasise in my keynotes: value your knowledge. It didn’t come to you as easily as you might think, and it’s worth something to someone who could benefit from it.
Even if we know our worth, why don’t we stand up for it?
On my first trip to Singapore, I quickly fell in love with the shopping (which isn’t hard for me anywhere). But at 5'1", I rarely find clothes that don’t need altering, so I knew I’d need some hems taken up.
My partner, a frequent visitor to Singapore, knew exactly where to go—Far East Plaza, a maze-like mall filled with every shop you can imagine, conveniently located next to our hotel.
We arrived at the alterations shop, pants in hand. I had already marked where they needed to be hemmed, so I figured we’d drop them off and pay when we picked them up.
The woman behind the counter barely looked up from her work as she said, “Leave them there.”
Cool, I thought, and we turned to leave.
But just as we were about to step out, she barked, “YOU PAY ME NOW!”
Sure as shiver me timbers, we paid right then and there.
Now, that’s a woman who knows her worth. She wasn’t being rude or arrogant; she was simply confident in the value of her time and expertise.
It wasn’t personal—it was strictly business.
Having an ego isn’t always about thinking you’re better than others—it’s simply that part of our mindset that helps you recognise knowing your worth doesn’t make you worth more than others; it simply means you refuse to settle for less.
But is it really a ‘worth’ problem? Or something else?
I know many confident, self-aware people who have a healthy sense of self-worth and recognise the value of the knowledge and experience they’ve accumulated. Yet, when it comes to asking for what they’re worth, suddenly they clam up.
So, what’s really going on here?
Let’s dig deeper by exploring what self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence actually mean.
Confidence vs. Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem
Australians have a saying I love: “Give it a go.” It perfectly captures what confidence is—your willingness to try something even if you’re not entirely sure about it. Confidence is an action, not a thought. It’s not just thinking about asking for a pay raise; it’s actually doing it.
Confidence is binary— do, or do not, there is no try. There’s no middle ground.
Self-esteem and self-worth, on the other hand, answer the question, “How much do I like myself?” The difference is that self-esteem is influenced by external factors, while self-worth is more stable and internally driven.
For example, after delivering a keynote, if someone comes up and says, “That was amazing,” it makes me feel fantastic—my self-esteem gets a boost. But if I don’t receive any feedback, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect me—I’m only human, after all! In that case, my self-esteem might take a dip.
However, my self-worth remains largely unaffected. Just because I didn’t get verbal validation doesn’t mean the keynote wasn’t valuable.
So, back to the original question: if someone has high self-esteem and self-worth, why do they still minimise their worth?
This is where self-respect comes into play.
Who do we think we are?
Self-respect, in my definition, is knowing that you are important. It means walking into a room full of billionaires who’ve solved world hunger and been sainted by Mother Teresa, and still thinking:
“Well, I’m not the smartest, richest, or most experienced person here, but I still deserve to be in this room. They aren’t more important than me, just as I’m not more important than them.”
And this, my friends, is what’s missing in our conversations about knowing our value. We need to remember that just because we don’t know everything or aren’t the best in our field doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask for what we’re worth.
Because here’s what happens: when we’re talking to our bosses, clients, or anyone we perceive as more important, a little voice inside says:
“Who do you think you are? You’re NOTHING compared to the person you’re talking to. You’ll only allow THEM to tell YOU what you’re worth. If YOU tell them what you’re worth, you’ll come off as an arrogant, egotistical a-hole. THEY are more important than YOU.”
Can you relate?
But for many of us, we don’t realise this narrative is playing out because it’s been ingrained in us for years, if not decades.
We’re told to wait our turn.
To not talk so much.
Stop being so selfish.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Regrets: The Actions We Don’t Take
Regret is an inevitable part of life. In Daniel Pink’s book The Power of Regret, he surveyed over 19,000 people in 105 countries to understand the nature of regret.
One eye-opening finding was that when we’re younger, we equally regret the things we do and don’t do.
But as we get older, we mostly regret the things we don't do.
This makes perfect sense. Our brains, particularly the prefrontal cortex, aren’t fully developed until we’re about 25 years old. The prefrontal cortex is like the braking system of a car—it helps us think twice before acting. As we mature, we’re less likely to take risks because we’re more aware of potential consequences - our braking system works 'better'.
But the problem arises when we lump all risks together—whether they’re stupid or not—and so we avoid anything risky altogether. Our catastrophic thinking takes over, leading us to:
- Stay silent in a meeting to avoid saying something stupid.
- Not ask for a raise because we fear they’re about to fire us.
- Avoid talking to the “super amazing person” at a networking event because we think, “Who the hell am I to them?”
We need to recognise that most of the catastrophes we fear will never happen—just like the monster in the closet doesn’t actually exist. It’s all in our heads.
An Immediate Action You CAN Take
Knowing and communicating your worth shouldn’t be a shrug/kinda/whatever vibe. It should be non-negotiable.
My friend and career inspiration Claire Seeber in her book Less Hustle, More Happy, puts it perfectly:
“Selling yourself and your potential is not an option, it is a necessity. The project you've just brought to life that is making your team 30 percent more efficient might be fabulous, but if no one knows about it because you are too worried about sounding 'braggy,' you'll miss out on opportunities. P.S. I can assure you—the people who are worried about sounding braggy are never the ones who actually are.”
But seeing your own value is easier said than done. As the saying goes, “It’s hard to see the picture when you’re inside the frame.”
One strategy that’s helped me is to ask trusted, no-BS, highly objective friends and colleagues for their view on the value I bring—and whether I’m asking for what I’m truly worth or playing it safe.
Concluding Thoughts: Own Your Value, Reap the Rewards
Understanding and valuing your knowledge is essential. Just like the woman in Singapore who unapologetically demanded payment upfront, knowing your worth and standing up for it can transform how others perceive and treat you.
The key takeaway is this: Your knowledge and experience are valuable because they didn’t come easily. They are the result of years of study, hard work, and perseverance. Yet, many of us struggle to ask for what we're worth—not because we lack confidence or self-esteem, but because deep down, we might still be questioning whether we truly deserve it.
But here’s the truth: you do.
When you recognise that self-respect is not about being the best in the room but about knowing you deserve to be in the room, everything changes. You'll stop letting those internal voices—those echoes of “Who do you think you are?”—hold you back. You’ll start speaking up, asking for that raise, and seizing those big, risky opportunities, all with LESS fear, not no fear, of being perceived as arrogant.
Remember, the regrets that haunt us the most aren’t the risks we took but the ones we didn’t.
So - a little thing to consider: Don’t let the fear of standing up for your value become one of those regrets.
So, take that step. Ask for what you’re worth. Speak up in that meeting. And when the little voice in your head asks, “Who do you think you are?” answer with confidence:
“I’m someone who knows my worth.”
