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queen of farts

by Kat | Jun 8, 2023

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The top 3 reasons why people-pleasers don’t spea The top 3 reasons why people-pleasers don’t speak their mind:

1. They think you will hate them.
2. They think you will hate them.
3. They think you will hate them.

Hence why it’s a long journey to unmuting oneself.

2 things I found helpful:

1. If you’re uncomfortable to speak up, say so.
2. Don’t negate what you’ve just said with another people pleasing response.

DrK x

#selfrespect #selfrespectrevolution #drkatherine #peoplepleasing
About a year ago (as you may already know) I had About a year ago (as you may already know) I had an emotional breakdown / spiritual awakening after a psych concluded I was burnt out.

I eventually succumbed to taking some time off and attempted to approach self-care in the way it was recommended to me by professionals and literature.

Long walks, hot baths, yada yada yada

I was waiting to experience what was commonly experienced in my type of situation - lethargy, apathy, exhaustion and waving a white flag.. but... that... didn’t... happen.

Months later I started to reflect on this period trying to understand what EXACTLY was going through my mind?

If I were to take off all the ‘politically correct’ layers, what was at the CORE of why I felt the way I did?

And that’s how the Burnout Trinity was formed which I explore in my latest episode of my podcast (link in bio)

If you don’t have time to listen - here’s a quick summary:

#1 F*&K
For high-achievers, having break or take a few days off when feeling burnt out is like taking away soother from a grumpy kid - you are taking away our lifeline. We do not feel sad, or despondent, we are pissed.

#2 FEAR
Catastrophising goes into overdrive. We equate burnout (and the possibility of having to take a break) with evidence that we will never be able to catch up and achieve what we want to achieve.

#3 THE FAÇADE
✅ On the outside - cool, calm and collected.
❌ On the inside - WWIII.
Because admitting burnout is the equivalent of saying “I can’t” - so deny, deny, deny.

Hope you enjoy the podcast!

DrK xoxo

#selfrespect #selfrespectrevolution #drkatherine #podcast
Yesterday I dealt with a situation in a way I wasn Yesterday I dealt with a situation in a way I wasn’t proud of. 👉🏻Cue mentally repeating what I said over, and over, and over.

I go to bed exhausted... and of course, as soon as I lay my head down on the pillow and switch off the lights, I have the energy of 10 thousand suns, fuelled by those thoughts... again.

I finally get to sleep and then at 11:30pm, someone decides to host a rave using their new boombox car speakers next to my window. I talk myself out of committing first degree murder. Yay! More annoying thoughts 🙄.

While we do not have 80,000-100,000* thoughts (a myth) and more like 6,200 - might as well make those thoughts useful, eh?

I learned a technique whilst in therapy 15 years ago - using a trigger word to get back in control of my thoughts - and thought I would share in case it was helpful for you too.

K x

#selfrespect #selfrespectrevolution #drkatherine

* Re myth: if interested, check out the 2020 research study that blew this myth out of the water by uncovering ‘thought worms’ using a method that can detect when one thought ends and another one begins.
How are you with conflict? What about saying “No How are you with conflict? What about saying “No”? Or my personal favourite - someone saying “I’m so disappointed in you” 😳 😱 #deargodhavemercy

It got me thinking about the word “selfish” which often has negative connotations… but for people pleasers, it might be just the fix that’s needed. Here’s why (explained in video) 🎥

DrK x

#selfrespect #selfrespectrevolution #drkatherine
Getting attention from someone in authority, is li Getting attention from someone in authority, is like a drug. You don’t think straight and you make excuses for every choice you make.

For example, during this period I lied continuously to my best friend (who I lived with) to hide my secret relationship.

And while yes, I did feel a sigh of relief when the penny dropped ~20yrs later that ‘it wasn’t all my fault’, this post isn’t about past mistakes or blame, but rather, to have an honest conversation about how wanting someone to make you feel significant can be like a drug.

Perhaps, you might be reading this whilst on the couch or out with friends, and you too have that longing to be noticed by someone at work, at your local coffee shop or the gym.

If so - a question for you to to chew on - is the pursuit of this attention truly serving you? Or is it only feeding a hunger that will never be satisfied?

Written only with kindness, DrK x

#selfrespect #selfrespectrevolution #drkatherine
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